I F 17 cannot handle constant reassuring someone F 17
Okay so theres this girl i met on online, our relationship progressed quite slow. I courted her for 8 months and she accepted it. Our relationship went on for about a year but suddenly she started getting super possessive and constantly overthinking stuff.. Where in she needs constant reassurance from me stating that i don’t have anyone else or i’m not seeing anyone. Long story short i’ve grown tired of it and got drained, she wouldn’t talk to me when theres something wrong and ignores me when i ask her “Are you okay?” She also gets mad at me when times i can’t reply right away to his messages. I’ve specifically told her that i’m a busy person and cant promise fast replies i do a lot of productive things but i never miss out greeting her good mornings.
Fast forward we were on a relationship where i’m walking on eggshells and that where is i got myself into a little situation. A female friend liked me where i met also online and blackmailed me if i cut out contact, my gf got angry because i didn’t cut out contact right away 17 year old me got scared because she got my irl friends involved in the situation. Mini arguments we had kept going on and on, i wasn’t able to give her proper reassurance because apparently i lost the ability to express my own feelings thru words. I can’t help but be scared of what will come out of my head.
We had an argument a few days later because i confronted her that i couldn’t handle walking on eggshells anymore and broke up. But after a month i just couldn’t get my mind off of her and ended up talking to her again. I was trying to make it up to her where i couldn’t give her proper reassurance. she entertained me, i told her that i wanna start things over and fix all of the mistakes i’ve done.. thats where i got the news that shes currently in love with someone else and that broke me completely. I lost all of my ability to be sweet, affectionate, considerate and to be good with words. I can’t express my feelings anymore, i can’t handle chatting with someone for all day, i can’t handle being sweet and all stuff and especially i cant handle giving someone reassurance. Its like i’ve lost it all i’m completely drained, during the relationship i’ve constantly blamed myself from all of our arguments and had done bad things to myself.
I’m back here in the never ending cycle that she gave me, being avoidant giving tension between us yet she wouldn’t tell me whats wrong. I’ve told her i cannot commit anymore.
hep me pls enlighten me from everything that i have done to improve myself