What to do about a doomed friendship?
Hi,
So, I met my friend Ryley through a mutual friend of ours a little over a year ago. Since then, there have been a lot of issues in our relationship. We became a group of friends along with two other people, and things were okay for about two months. Then, me and Ryley thought we might be able to take things a bit further than that, but it didn’t work out well. I was not able to live up to the standards that Ryley needed in a relationship (totally fine! Some people just aren’t meant to be). But since then, our relationship has been a little strained.
I’m genuinely not bitter about a romantic relationship not having worked out— I was honestly so overwhelmed with their relationship needs that I knew it wouldn’t work out and no longer wanted to pursue anything. But even then, it seems like we’ve just been clashing in different ways ever since. I’m not even sure if Ryley sees it the way I do, I think they think everything is relatively normal. I’m not good at confrontation, so when any sort of issue arises, I tend to just try and shrug it off, but this has not worked with them. Admittedly, I think I’ve been building some resentment towards them because of some of the ways they communicate. We just don’t seem to mesh very well when our relationship is any level deeper than casual friendship.
Despite this, I’m not quite sure what to do. I do enjoy hanging out with them from time to time and we have two close mutual friends. Yet, I know that I cannot sustain our deeper level of friendship for much longer without just ghosting them, which I don’t want to do because I know it’ll hurt them and potentially my other friendships. Is there a way to take things back to a more casual level of friendship? I’ve tried politely distancing myself from them over time, but it has never worked out as they are very insistent on maintaining a close relationship. I want to do right by them while also trying to keep my other friendships and my own mental health safe. Any tips on how to handle a situation like this?