u/DisastrousGoal9436

I need to talk more. for the past 2 weeks when i get gay intrusive thoughts or test, i get levels of enjoyment now. it’s different. like sometimes i wanna lean into the arousal now. i’m so afraid that i’m going to start fantasizing about gay sex. like there’s so much distress but i think i can say that im actually getting some level of enjoyment i think now from this shit like i want to lean into the arousal of the thoughts. i think i am bisexual but i also have so-ocd at the same time. because this is very consistent as of late. one time i even compulsively jerked off to getting fucked and got a good amount of arousal and finished to it. when i get gay intrusive thouguts i get a feeling in my head and stomach of urgency and desire now. this wasn’t supposed to happen but im convinced that i am actually bi.

Guys as my so-ocd has progressed (it’s been 9 months now) i’m starting to realize that i do stuff that doesn’t look just like normal ocd. i masturbated to me getting fucked by a guy a couple months ago as a compulsion but i enjoyed it. and 2 weeks ago i saw a thread of a guy riding a dildo and felt like i genuinely wanted to do stuff with him. and ever since then every time i get intrusive handed thoughts i get an urge that i wanna do it and it feels real. and i jsut have a bad spike and i imagined myself naked getting fucked and it aroused me and i felt like i really wanted to fantasize about it and gay sex is starting to feel desirable. and now chatgpt is saying i could be someone who has so-ocd but is also genuinely realizing they are bisexual at the same time.