I’m a F/40 and have been married to my husband M/45 for the past 8 years. We have two young children.
Our parents were the ones that kind of arranged our meeting, but we fell in love- even though my parents did not agree to the marriage. After i left my home to live with him overseas, he began to behave very weirdly. He started to manipulate and gaslight me whenever he behaved off and i questioned him. He hasn’t once opened up to me emotionally, especially after i found out he was going through clinical depression. I would find out he’s lying to me about the smallest of things, like where he’s going and what he’s doing. After our daughter was born, he was mad at me as to why a girl was born.
He’s always made me feel crazy and psychotic for questioning him, which led me to attend therapy for years. I wanted to leave him ages ago, but was afraid of my families reaction after they had already told me not to marry him. I was also constantly hoping he would change as being divorced, especially with kids would lead you to become outcasted.
Now that his behaviours becoming severe, and because i have a stable job and a house, i’m confident enough to find a way out but i cannot do it without exposing him first. He has kept a false image infront of his and my family of being this loyal, religious and loving husband when in reality he does not communicate with me at all, leaving in the early morning and coming home at 9pm. He won’t even be around his own kids and would ask me to have them be asleep before he comes home. I’ve been mentally unstable and am going through immense stress being around him and living with his family for the past 8 years. The only way they will know that me leaving was their son’s fault and not attempt to shift the blame to me is if i throw evidence of his infidelity in their face.
I found out that my husband will be leaving to go on a trip to Dallas, Texas. He’ll then go to Nashville then to LA where he’ll then stay for 2 days until he comes back home. I found out these details after going through his email and phone, where i also found a screenshot and phone convo with two different woman. He’s attempting to book a room for two adults. I don’t have any friends or family in the States to keep an eye on him and follow him, and i wanted to travel there myself but i do not have anyone to take care of my children while i’m gone.
When i ask about his trip, he’ll lie to me about when he’s leaving and coming back. He’s also been taking more care of his looks and is out even outside of a work day. I’ve been recording his conversations but haven’t found anything as of yet. I would really appreciate help from someone that is living in any of these cities to have him followed. I just really need to get payback for all the years of torture he’s put me and my kids through!! and i need this evidence for my future legal defence.