I’m in college and my friend A and I used to be extremely close. We also co-run an organization together. A while ago, I realized I was becoming emotionally dependent on her and another friend, so I wrote her a really personal letter explaining why I had started distancing myself a bit. I opened up about insecurities I had never told anyone before.
Before that, she had written me a letter too, saying she felt like I acted cold sometimes or gave people the silent treatment. I explained that I wasn’t trying to manipulate anyone, I just felt overwhelmed and guilty for depending too much on people emotionally.
We eventually “fixed” things, but later we got into another argument over an organization activity. We had to handle some donated books, and she wanted me to leave them outside unattended until she arrived. I felt uncomfortable doing that because people trusted us with them.
After she kept insisting, I got irritated and texted something like: “Okay, fuck it, if something happens to the books then it’s not my problem.” I admit my tone was rude.
That’s when she told me I “hadn’t changed at all” and that my apology letters meant nothing. That honestly hurt a lot because those letters contained some of the most vulnerable things I’ve ever shared with anyone, and instead of talking things through, she brought them up during an argument to use against me.
Now things between us are awkward and tense, and I keep wondering if I overreacted or if my feelings are actually valid here.