u/Disastrous_Ad6542

so my bf (33) lives in a room with a shared living space (bathroom and kitchen). the bathroom thats shared has pee all over the toilet seat and floors, mold, beard hairs, no clean surfaces to put clean clothes. when i was working i was losing my patience with the bathroom. the two men there don’t clean at all, make all the mess, and probably assume that Im gonna clean it for them because i’m a woman. i didn’t mind because i wanted to see him and i was too tired to care but my hygiene lacked from avoiding the bathroom. i would go to work unshowered and leave early to use the bathroom there.

i quit my job because i kept getting sick working with sick people (it was a mistake but i’m also 22) and he said that he wanted me to stay with him, he enjoyed having me there to take care of me. the people across from us moved out and their room had its own bathroom. my bf promised to get that bathroom so we wouldn’t live uncomfortably anymore. he asked if we can get that room and he said no someone’s moving in there. but it was left unlocked so we were able to use the toilet in there at least and it was clean. my bf said he had asked 2 other times

my bfs friend M just got out of a bad living situation and had to find a new room. he asked for his friend and by that time the room had been empty for so long that the manager was losing money so he let his friend move in. the idea was he can move in and we can use his bathroom whenever we have to; we’ll even get a key. however he didn’t give us a key and i found myself having to ask to be let use the bathroom (like a dog). at night or in the morning he would be asleep so i hold in my pee to avoid using the dirty bathroom. i sleep in the morning holding myself with my hand so i don’t feel the urge to pee as bad.

when M was moving in i was still trying to convince him to get that bathroom but we always fought (he didn’t want to do the move, make it work by getting rid of anything, and he didn’t want to screw his friend over). he said that i don’t care about his stuff and that i expect him to just throw his things out (a futon that he was not using that we couldve left at my house). he believes that he’s paying the rent so i essentially have no right to tell him what to do with his money. i tried to work with it for a week or so asking to use the bathroom like a dog, but then i went back home with my parents.

im trying to convince him to come visit me because of the bathroom. now hes saying it sucks that i feel that way; the bathroom is reason enough to not come over and hes not enough but its not comfortable for me there! I can get UTIs from holding in my pee. other than the obvious they don’t buy hand soap so they’re not washing their hands. anything we leave up there ends up used.

he wiped down the bathroom seat for me a few times but still my pants are touching the pee on the floor. once poo was left on the back of the seat itself in the shape of a little V. AITAH?

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AITAH for leaving an environment i felt uncomfortable in.