Can you build a successful life as a couple if one of you has a criminal record?
I have a criminal record and it’s a bad one. I spent 14 years in prison for sexual crimes against a child. On my release several years ago I have tried to turn my life around. I have a wife and we both are fortunate to have had some money passed down to us from both of our parents (two separate loads of inheritances we pooled together) and so can afford to live in a nice neighbourhood, we both have stable jobs and my wife is very social and constantly making new friends from her yoga and ceramics classes.
I have good friends at work who don’t know about my past, but all my friends from school days and university have obviously disowned me.
Recently I have been a bit more open about my past and the years I spent living in prison but my wife has said I should still avoid giving the exact reasons for why I was in prison as I will never be able to move on as people will make my life (and hers) increasingly difficult. She is also concerned about her own reputation as she is bubbly and well-liked whereas in a bit more introverted.
I can’t help but feel she is right but also would feel better if I am able to express who I am and what I’ve done without any shame or duplicity. At the same time, I am determined to keep building this life with her and if we want to have children it will be a constant shadow over them if there father is seen as the local villain