I can count on one hand the number of people I feel truly heard by.
I can identify some things they have in common, which seem obvious to type out. They don’t interrupt. They ask clarifying questions. They can paraphrase what I’ve said. I’ve tried to learn from them.
I want to be a good listener too, so I’m curious, what makes you feel the most heard?
Today I say “just fuck my shit up” to one person.
Whom do I choose?
—The bartender at that fucking dive that smells like grape body spray and Marbs
—My girlfriend after she’s been reading Dan fucking Savage
—My fucking barber, I know he has some fucking shit up his sleeve
—I could go get some fucking frozen yogurt.
What the fuck should I do?
10- Apricot. Fuzzy little gentleman, mild respectable color.
9- Kiwi. Tweed. Academic.
8- Grapes. Whether purple or green, grapes have a certain obscene decadence that I respect.
7- Watermelon. Big ballsy boy!
6- Tangerine. I like the shiny jacket, and the color is just confident.
5- Any multicolored apple. I’m not here for the “red delicious” monochrome look. Give me the stripy apples.
4- Lemon. It’s shaped like an eye. A yellow, watchful eye.
3- Pomegranate. There’s something punk going on with pomegranates. They make no apologies.
2- Pear. Fat bottomed girls, you make the rocking world go round!
1- Banana. The color of a taxi. Curved like the moon. Relentlessly phallic. I think both Tom Waits and Sigmund Freud would agree this is the best looking fruit!