Having really rough patch lately and been drinking way too much to deal with everything. Yesterday ordered some bottles through delivery app and had to go outside to show ID to the driver. Was dark so he couldn't scan properly and I was trying help with my phone flashlight, telling him no worries take your time. He said thanks for being patient, then told me about previous delivery where woman was shaking badly when he brought her alcohol order - just cheap spirits and some frozen meals. She got angry about the ID check and just grabbed everything and ran back inside.
When I heard that story, something hit me so hard. Could see myself becoming exactly like that person if I don't get control of this situation. Went back in my apartment and just broke down completely. Sometimes takes hearing about someone else's struggle to realize how bad things are getting.