r/SoberCurious

Hey guys I’m new here just looking for friends I can talk to, I’ve been an alcoholic for 12 years. I’ve been sober for only 2 days now and it’s killing me 😞 I chose to quit drinking because a ruined a lot of relationships with family, everyone hates me . My kids barely wants to be around me .. all I can do is cry.. I wanna drink so bad, that’s the only thing that makes me feel good but I wanna change my ways and get clean. On my off days I will go to a AA meeting until then, feel free to give me encouraging words or advice or anything please.. I’m feeling so alone and suicidal..

Hello!

I recently have made the decision to be sober for 30 days, I’m on day 3. For some context, I recently posted here about my drinking/hangiexty and am feeling encouraged to start this break. I don’t have an addiction to alcohol, more so just don’t like the person I become when I drink, I also cannot handle my alcohol. I never know what type of drunk I’ll be. Long story short, I am going on a week long vacation with my family, who are all casual drinkers and love a drink. Everyone knows I’m kind of the drinker/partier of the family so I feel like it might be obvious when I am not enjoying drinks with them. I know people say to tell people when you are going sober for accountability and support but I don’t want to make it a big deal and honestly I don’t really want to tell anyone yet. Just wanted to see if anyone had any tips for this sort of situation.

Thanks so much for your feedback.

Went out after work with a friend who chose a bar to meet up at. I'm a 3-5 day a week drinker (3-4 beers). I've been successful lately only drinking fri/sat and not drinking Sunday-Thurs. But last week I drank 5 days.

Anyways - ordered non-alcoholic beers and enjoyed my time! I'm back home and feel fresh, i can do what i want, i'm not tired and feeling sluggish. Before when trying to be more sober i never thought of N/A to help, but now i can see myself having a n/a beer or two instead of actual beer and feel good about my night!

Will report back with more data.

I recently was arguing with someone that thought support meant simply not harassing your friend in sobriety to drink.

in my mind that is not support, that is just basic, standard, being a decent human, much less friend. that is an issue of respect in my mind, not support.

I tried to argue that in my 7 years of sobriety, support has always meant planning dry events if you're gonna invite the sober person.... whether that means not having a drink at dinner, or planning an entire Christmas holiday to be dry... I consider this to support rather than respect because no one owes you this type of treatment. They are actually trying to be there for you even if it means sacrificing their own wants and needs. Whereas the other one I do believe regardless of what you are doing if you tell people you don't want to participate they should respect that decision... some light teasing is fine... but if they legitimately won't stop pestering you that isn't a support issue, its a lack of respect issue.

SO... im just curious... what does it mean to support someone in sobriety to you?

Hi! I have been back and forth on being sober curious and am looking for guidance if anyone has had same experiences. I am 23F but have been a drinker since early high school and have experienced the going out phase far too early in life. Drinking is very normalized in my life, with my family, friends, and partner. Sometimes I take it too far and get way too drunk and other times I’m totally fine. Either way, I get so much hangiexty and when I think about it, I get so embarrassed about how I acted/spoke and it lasts for days. I’ve done some pretty embarrassing stuff drunk but have always been roped back into drinking, “what’s a glass of wine gonna do?”

I have also noticed that recently I will talk about other people behind their back when I’m drinking. I wake up and feel this immense guilt because I don’t feel that way at all(and even if I do, I should never speak badly about it to others) it’s been really messing with me.

Sorry for the vent. When I try to talk about it, I feel like it gets downplayed and no one really understands/listens. It’s not bad enough that I have a crazy issue but I just feel weird

UPDATE:

Thank you so, so much for all the replies. You’re absolutely right. ❤️ For my own sake, I’m quitting this shit. ❤️ My husband is completely on board too. He doesn’t want to give it up entirely (he’s much more disciplined and has more willpower than me anyway), but he wants to strictly limit it to social occasions. ❤️ Today is day 2. Wish me luck! ❤️

Hi everyone!

I’m a 34-year-old mother of three, with a wonderful husband and a good financial situation. I struggle with anxiety, and it always seems to find a new topic to focus on. Basically, it’s health anxiety, constantly monitoring my mental state, and striving for perfection when it comes to life in general. Right now, alcohol is the topic.

My husband and I usually have four 0.5 L beers between us every 2–3 evenings. On the sober days, we watch movies and relax. On the “drinking” days, we do exactly the same things we normally do — we bathe the kids, feed them, put them to bed, etc. There are no problems at all. Still, somehow, this “habit” bothers me.

I never drink on consecutive days, and I don’t crave it on those days either. But after 2–3 days, I get the feeling of “a cold beer would be so nice right now.”
I recently started exercising and eating in a calorie deficit, I’ve started running, and I’m also going back to work in September. Alcohol doesn’t really limit me in any way. At most, I feel a little more groggy the following morning, and I tend to be more anxious the following evening.

Very rarely, things get a little out of hand and I end up having five beers, but I don’t hide it or sneak drinks. I just tend to feel anxious about it the next day.

What do you think I should do? I’ve been considering complete abstinence because, for me, “one beer is not a beer.” I never get drunk, but I need at least 3–4 beers (rarely 5) to feel satisfied. Once I’ve had that, though, I stop.

A friend of mine was telling me that you can use naltrexone as needed, so like you take one before drinking and then you won’t end up too drunk.
I am wondering if anyone has any personal experience with this they can share?
The problem I’ve always had with drinking is that once I get drunk, I keep going. It’s like a switch is activated in my brain that says “more” no matter how far past my limit I am. My friend is like me, and he said for him taking a Naltrexone before having drinks basically disabled that switch for him. He said once he got buzzed, instead of getting that feeling of needing to keep drinking to keep the buzz going, he just gets kind of tired and switches to water because he no longer has that uncontrollable desire to drink more. Has this worked for anyone else?
I have some Naltrexone sitting in my cabinet that I used for about a month last year, it totally curbed my desire to drink and I haven’t drank in a year.
My goal was to make it to a year and I’m past that, and I want to try having some drinks for a special occasion.
Please share any advice or experience.

if I should post this somewhere else I’d be happy to be redirected! This felt like the appropriate sub but I’m not sure. Thank you!!!*

Just for today 16AUG26 "Up or down" 449 days clean and sober NA Recovery Cash App-$Shepard806
There really is no pause button when it comes to spirituality. I'm learning this first hand. I planned on coming out of jail and spending a little time every morning on prayer, gratitude and spirituality. I let life get in my way. I haven't been taking that time every morning like I planned. Recently I haven't had much motivation and my attitude has been kinda blah. It's time to kick this life back into gear. We're either going up or down, I refuse to let life bring me down.

Disclaimer: I am not looking for medical advice, do not expect to be given any and I am just looking to hear other people’s experiences, as I have learned that this seems to be quite common.

Hi all,

I’m 25 y/o and about 6 months ago, I started to notice that the day (or days depending on how much I drink) after drinking alcohol, I have a faster heartbeat/palpitations.

I do know that alcohol does naturally speed up your heart rate, but when drinking alcohol, I’ve noticed that my heart is much faster, even after a couple of beers. This doesn’t bother me too much in the moment as if I am out, I am distracted and don’t notice it.

However the bit that bothers me, and the reason I am posting this is in the day/days after drinking, I have what I can only describe as a heavy heart. Sometimes my heart rate the following day could be between 70-80, but just feels much more noticeable. I was away on a lads holiday, and as expected, there were some heavy nights, but the fatigue, from which felt like the heavy/palpitating heart knocked me out. Could barely do anything during the day.

I know all “holiday heart syndrome” and how it can happen, but I am curious as this never used to happen to me.

I know the typical answer will be “stop drinking”, and fair enough, but I don’t want to as I love doing it.

I don’t drink too often, 1/2 times a month, and don’t use any drugs, nor do I drink energy drinks on a night out.

I have started taking magnesium, and take an electrolyte before and after a night out, as well as drinking water during same.

I’m wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation, and if they’re stuck like this, or there are other “remedies” that can help?

I also had a chest x-ray, ECG, bloods and a few other bits done a couple of months ago after I experienced it for the first time, and they all came out fine.

TIA

Ever since I started using, I lost interest in all my hobbies. I’m worried I fried my brain and damaged it. Will I enjoy what I used to? I want to learn languages again, make music, and travel. Substances took that all from me. Sorry if you guys hear this a lot, I’m just scared. I got a rehab screening today. I’m going tomorrow

I’m a new dad and have been sober for 5 months now. I don’t miss alcohol and I’m pretty happy with my decision. My problem is events and things aren’t that exciting to me. Alcohol was something to look forward to at these things and now they’re just meh. I’m happy to go and enjoy but it’s not that same excitement. Am I realizing I had more serious of a problem than I thought? For 10+ years alcohol drove almost all social events for me.

I want to get excited about things again. Did I fry my dopamine receptors? I could also just be fried from being a new dad.

Just venting and wanted some thoughts. Thanks yall.

Like the title says, im 1k days of no alcohol. I set a reminder on my calendar to go off at 1k, 2.5k, 5k etc. 1k days is a huge accomplishment and its crazy how much life has changed for the better.

I always tell myself you 1st live without alcohol then you LIVE without alcohol. Just Not drinking was all I thought it would be. Boy was I wrong, not having that outlet, not participating, feeling like I was not in the club. I happily traded all that to have peace. Peace from constantly managing alcohol, how much when and where to just. I dont drink. All the sober firsts. It was exciting at 1st but then it guys kinda old so bringing in weight lifting, diet, and listening to podcasts replaced booze.

I would make this decision a million times over, its not cookie cutter or easy for everyone. Again not drinking is like having shower thoughts constantly and unable to shut you mind or your past off. Its also OK to drink during your sobriety journey. Its all just data keep going!

Titles pretty much it i am unable to get drunk no matter how much a drink one night I drank a full 70cl of jack Daniels about 50cl of vodka (plus about 6 shots), 140cl of wkd and 6 beers had a bit of a stomach ache but not even a buzz at first I thought it could be my autism but I googled it apparently thats not a thing does anyone have an idea why I'm just immune? Its not something that bothers me just kinda curious

I’m 31 and drink maybe 2–3 times a month, always with friends and usually quite heavily. I’ve never really had an issue with drinking alone or feeling like I need alcohol.
I just genuinely enjoy those nights.
They’re often pretty pointless. We drink too much, talk shit, do stupid things and wake up hungover.

But honestly, I love it. I love the spontaneity, the
stupid stories and just being completely in the moment with my friends.
The problem is that I’m starting to question whether it’s worth it.

I’m in a serious relationship and probably want kids within the next year or so, and I feel like I’m ready to move past this part of my life. Drinking doesn’t really affect my work, but it definitely affects my training, diet and the next day.

I’ve tried having just 1–2 drinks, but it doesn’t really work with my group. They drink quite a lot, and the whole dynamic is different when I’m sober. I also know I’d see some of these friends much less if I stopped drinking, which is something I don’t really want because I genuinely like them.

So I’m considering not drinking for the next 12 months, but I’m honestly scared of missing out. I don’t want to look back and think I missed years of fun and stupid adventures just because I decided to stop drinking.

At the same time, I’m wondering whether a few hours of “pointless” fun are really worth the alcohol, the hangover and feeling like shit the next day.

I was pointed towards r/SoberCurious, so I’d love to hear from people who were in a similar situation.