r/SoberCurious

Hi! I’m 23F and live in NYC, and I’m looking for a sobriety group/community with people around my age (early-mid 20s).

I’m looking for something that actually helps teach you how to be sober, dealing with cravings, learning how to socialize without drinking, changing your relationship with alcohol, building a sober life, etc.

I’ve tried AA, but the meetings I went to skewed much older and I didn’t really feel comfortable or like I could relate to the crowd. I’m not completely against AA though.

Ideally I’m looking for something on Saturdays or Sundays, preferably Manhattan/Brooklyn and accessible from Midtown. I’d also be interested in sober social groups/events with a genuinely Gen Z crowd, but I’m looking for more than just alcohol-free parties I want some actual support/guidance around staying sober.

Does anyone in their 20s have specific groups or meetings they’d recommend?

Looking for some advice (f/28). I am feeling like I should maybe explore a sober lifestyle, but that thought disappoints me.

I am at the end of a vacation with a few other girlfriends, and our last night went south. It was all my fault. After quite a lot of drinks, I put my friend and I in a scary situation, with people we don't know, in a city we're not from. Fight or flight kicked in and I acted selfishly and incorrectly. The next morning my friend ended up telling me how incorrectly I behaved and handled the situation, and essentially alluded to not wanting to travel with me or be my friend anymore. I understand.

I just can't help but feel that this always happens with me. I am constantly messing up and being stupid. I understand that I am young and have a very fun-loving, care free personality but I feel as though I have been making poor decisions for too long and I am the only person I ever see make mistake like this. It has caused so much judgement from others, loss of respect, physical pain to myself in some cases, and now I fear that this trip in particular has lost me friendships.

I have many times looked into my relationship with alcohol and not liked what I saw. Part of me knows that I need to reconsider some things. But it's disappointing because I feel like I would lose the fantasy or vision (for lack of better terms) for my future - my entire family is Caribbean, and they PARTY. At carnival every year, hanging out, etc. this also sounds silly, and I'm single now but I've always loved the idea of being out with my significant other and pretty much just being "drunk in love". I also can just imagine the reactions people will have if I tell them I no longer drink or am sober - let's it's been a long time coming and it's a relief - and I hate that and the thought of those reactions gives me crazy anxiety.

I am open to thoughts, comments, and support. Please be kind, but also give it to me straight.

I’m having a hard time scrolling through posts because is this actually a curious group? Or a group who is succeeding . It’s demoralizing to see so many 6+ months sober posts .

Is this suppose to be helpful? Should I have just gone to a sober group for the same thing ?

I really want to see people asking what’s right for them and how they drank less . Did less etc .

What is your life now ?

I drink more or less every day.

But I have extremely impactful adhd. And the idea of filling my 9-11 hour with anything other than something stimulating ( which at my age is nothing ) makes me want to rip my skin off . So like what now

Edit: I’m emotional off my meds no matter what. So I’m prone to angry outbursts regardless of alcohol. And I’ve done extensive notation on it and can show myself there is no difference there .

I’m impulsive when my meds were off as well, so alcohol only gives me a place to stay instead of traveling .

It fills all these holes my unmedicated adhd gives me . Idk what to do about it .

I wanna stop for health reasons but it’s all genetic and my whole family died of other shit way earlier so who even cares