Sober (19th May )
Cocaine has turned me right into a weirdo.
I don’t even enjoy it now. I get some bags i sniff i play some football manager player some music on the background. Flick through social media, masturbate ( this can go on up to 10-12 hours ) it’s serious power wanking. ( sorry to share )
I struggle with psychosis regularly the elements are auditory hallucinations. I can be chilling but hearing arguing or shouting in the other room (when there’s nobody else here) or I would hear songs playing. Sometimes i get whispers in my ear.
I also go through phases when I’m sniffin where I think there’s spiders crawling on my head (a good scratch) and there’s nothing there. I call that “spidey tingle “
This has been going on 5 years or so it’s normal to me. But it’s not normal tho is it.
Im going to call a doctor and get help. Thing is I don’t even know anyone that is sober. I feel like I’m in this alone, EVERYONE around me does some sort of drug. That will be hard.
Im going to do it