Possible dream job vs a real shot at sobriety
TL;DR Ive been offered a rare prosthetics/fabrication job opportunity that could become a meaningful long-term career, but I was planning to spend this summer getting sober from certain substances and stabilizing my mental health, sleep, and chaotic home life before returning to work. I’m scared taking the job now will overwhelm me and lead to failure, but I’m equally scared I’ll regret turning it down forever.
I have until 1:00 tomorrow to decide
The long version:
I need help deciding whether to take a job opportunity or step back and focus on getting my life stable first.
For context: I’m a single mom of two boys and things at home have been extremely unstable lately. One of my kids has severe behavioral and emotional issues right now, and my home life has basically been constant stress/crisis mode for months. I’ve also been struggling mentally and emotionally myself and honestly feel pretty burnt out.
I recently got offered a job at a Clinic doing fabrication/prosthetics-related work. It’s actually a really cool opportunity and not something that comes along often. I have a background in welding/fabrication and hands-on work, and part of me feels like this could potentially become a meaningful long-term career path instead of just another random job.
The problem is that I don’t feel ready.
I’ve been on unemployment and had a plan to use this summer to finally quit meth and reset my life while my kids are away for a short period of time. The idea was to use that time with fewer responsibilities to get through withdrawal, stabilize my sleep, mental health, routines, and overall functioning before trying to return to work. Right now my sleep schedule is wrecked, my stress tolerance is awful, and I honestly feel emotionally fried.
Part of me thinks taking this job right now would be self-sabotage because:
it’s a steep learning curve,
it matters medically to people,
I’d need to be mentally sharp and reliable,
and I’m scared I’d fail because I’m not stable yet.
But the other part of me is terrified of losing this opportunity forever.
I’ve already burned bridges employment-wise in the past due to attendance and instability, so I’m scared if I turn this down I’ll regret it for years. I’m also scared that if I stay home to “work on myself,” I’ll just isolate, lose momentum, and end up even worse off.
So basically my choice is:
Take the opportunity now and try to force myself forward even though I feel mentally unprepared.
Turn it down (or delay working) and focus on getting sober, stabilizing my home life, sleep, mental health, and routines first.
What would you choose and why?