r/makemychoice

I’m entering my sr year of high school and trying to choose a major/career. I’ll be going to UW-Madison.

Edit: both majors are housed in separate uw sub schools and both are very competitive to get into, and are generally even more difficult to get into once admitted to UW. So deciding before is a significant advantage.

I’m pulled toward being an actuary because UW has an elite program where classes count as taking actuarial exams. It would lead to a simple, high paying job that would likely have great wlb.

I’m pulled towards engineering because it appears to have a greater positive societal impact, would likely be more interesting, and may even let me at some point work on cutting edge tech such as spacecrafts, planes, etc. it would also leave a path open to being an actuary later.

I would also love to live in Colorado or somewhere in the west.

Any advice on how or which choice to make?

TLDR: Should I major in actuarial science or engineering?

So im abroad visiting family therefore my boss approved 2 days of work from home for me for 6th and 7th of July, even though technically I can only start working from home from next month.

I realised my flight back home on 7th after work will land and I miss 30 mins of country’s match in the world cup.

I am a passionate fan of my national team in soccer and don’t want to miss it at all. I have 2.5 days left of AL and intend to use 0.5 in order to take an earlier flight home on Tuesday.

Last week I had an emergency on Wednesday and they were really nice to let me take a day off last minute and asked if i was okay when I came back.

Im worried if it looks bad to ask again especially since they went out of their way to approve WFH.

my colleague said the boss doesn’t care as long as you use AL but my girlfriend says in her company people get fired for last minute vacations as it looks like I don’t give a damn.

What do I do? I feel terrible missing the game and it is once every 4 years…

Tldr: fly earlier to watch football match?

I have an online friend who lives in the city where I've been doing my internship. A while back, I asked if she wanted to hang out, but it never happened, and I tried to be understanding. Life gets busy, and I know not everything works out the way we hope.

But over time, she also started talking to me less and less. Our conversations became shorter, less frequent, and it slowly felt like I was the only one trying to keep the friendship alive. That hurt more than I expected. It's sad watching someone who used to feel important in your life gradually drift away without ever really saying why.
Now I'm leaving soon, and part of me wonders if I should ask one last time to hang out. I don't want to regret never giving it one final chance, but I also don't want to keep reaching for someone who doesn't seem to be reaching back.

If I ask again and nothing comes of it, I think that might be the answer I've been avoiding. At that point, blocking her wouldn't be about revenge or trying to make her feel guilty. It wouldn't be a punishment. It would be my way of accepting that this friendship has come to an end. More than anything, it would be like placing a gravestone over something that has already died a way of acknowledging what we've lost, giving myself permission to stop hoping things will go back to how they were, and finally moving forward instead of holding on to something that no longer exists.

TL;DR: She slowly drifted away, and that hurt more than I expected. I'm wondering if I should ask to hang out one last time before I leave so I know I gave the friendship every chance. If she still doesn't make an effort, I don't see blocking her as punishment I see it as accepting that the friendship is over, putting a gravestone on something that's already gone, and allowing myself to finally move on.

TL;DR architecture software engineering or Survey engineering

TL;DR a new one is 500€, and one that also includes Mario kart world is 550€

Lately, I've been debating whether I should get a Switch 2. Being able to play on the go is definitely a nice bonus, but honestly, the main reason is that Zelda and Mario games look really fun, and I've never actually played any of them before.

I already have a PC, so I'm not sure if it'd be worth it. My biggest concerns are the battery life and how easily the Joy-Cons seem to get stick drift. The console is already pretty expensive, and I really don't want to end up spending another third of its price on replacement controllers.

Tl;dr a it really worth it? Because some people say go and have fun while you still can and make memories, some say save up and don't waste money, plus you will do some dumb shit

TL;DR: Should I defer my admission to a PhD program that I am not sure about and lose my fellowship to continue working abroad and have more time to think about career paths, OR should I give the PhD a chance (and maybe end up enjoying it more than I think or at least figure out for sure whether or not it’s something I want to do career wise)?

Hi everyone!

I was admitted to a school psychology PhD program in the US this fall. I've been setting up to get myself ready: I registered for my classes, signed a lease, all that jazz. However, I have not been able to shake the cold feet I've had for the past few months. I am currently teaching English abroad and was offered an opportunity to extend my time for an extra 6 months. I initially said no because I have up to five years of funding from my program with no service/worm responsibilities, what a dream right??? I was not able to defer this funding offer, so it felt like a now-or-never situation.

But as time goes on, I am starting to regret this decision...I would have loved to spend more time in my host country, not only because I love teaching and the personal development I've had over the past year has been amazing, but additionally, I don't think that I am as recovered from burnout as I thought I was (I graduated from university in 2025, so I am currently in my gap year). I can't help but think—what if I never have another opportunity to live abroad again? I am abroad in Latin America and have Puerto Rican heritage, so it’s been nice to be fully immersed in a similar culture and build up my Spanish fluency. It has been a dream of mine to become fluent in Spanish, and this experience is the closest I have gotten to achieving it. I am also generally not super excited to move to the location of the PhD program (high COL, a lot of people struggle with seasonal depression bc of the winter), but I figured I could suck it up because of the great funding offer I received.

I guess I got my taste of "life outside of academia," and I am not quite ready to let it go yet. After teaching English, I realized that I am maybe not as passionate about my PhD subject as I thought I was...I love working with students, but I don’t know if school psychology’s emphasis on special education will be right for me. However, I’ll be able to branch out into other things with the degree, especially if I pursue licensure as a licensed psychologist, and work in other non-school settings. I am trying to convince myself to go for a year to just try it out, especially since I have already signed a lease, and maybe I will end up liking it. Or that even maybe after a year, and I don't like it, it will still be good information to know (long story, but last year I was supposed to attend a different PhD program and decided not because of burnout....I feel like at this point I HAVE to try it out before I decide to say "No, this is not for me" again).

If I don’t attend the PhD program this year, I can defer my offer of admission but I would lose my fellowship funding. I would be able to get 3 years of guaranteed funding working for the program (excluding the cost for summer classes), but during my fourth year I would have to find external funding. Deferring would let me finish out my year abroad (until december) and give me an extra 6 months in the spring to spend time with family (I went out of state for undergrad and my doctoral program is also out of state), work, and think about my future before possibly enrolling next fall.

I am feeling a lot of pressure from my family to continue with the program, as they would love for me to be the first Dr in the family (hence I am coming to Reddit for outside perspective lol). I am the overachiever of the family, so I am having a hard time separating my academic achievement from my actual personality/character, and giving my personal values and desires as much weight as my career success. With all of my hesitance, both in terms of career prospects, personal values, and mental health, I am not sure how much continuing with the program would be worth it.

EDIT: Should I follow his instagram account (not a cult)
Hi everyone!!
So I’ve had this guy who I used to be very close with around 2022-2023. He was a great guy and very funny with a big personality. He ended up catching feelings for me and I had to turn him away because I just came out of a very serious relationship and out of respect for me, him, and my ex boyfriend, it was the best. We had a pretty big falling out a bit after I rejected him and it ended on us being on badish terms. We ended up apologising and chose to not become friends again.
This was 3 years ago and I still think about him on and off. I was thinking about maybe following his instagram account and I know it’s not a big deal but I’m a big wuss and worried he hates me.

Should I follow his account?

TLDR; This guy and I had a falling out 3 years ago and I want to reconnect and follow his instagram account to see where it goes, should I follow him?

I (21 F) am in surgical technology school, my dad recently asked me if i would be willing to go to Indiana with him to work in the plants in August. i live in Texas and I have one semester left after this one is done, but I think this would be a great opportunity to make money for my future and start doing things to actually enjoy my life and grow. Me and my dad have never gotten along and he’s never wanted me to work at the plants because of the type of men that work there, but the pay is really good and I feel a shift in our relationship. He’s old and I don’t want him to die not knowing enough about him. He confides in me and we have had deep chats about his life in Mexico. I feel like I need this to become a stronger person. If it delays me a semester (3 months), is this worth it, i am also not as motivated as I used to be for school so I believe a hiatus while working, studying in my free time, and being in a different state would allow me to become the best me. I feel a shift in my life and I’m strongly considering this.
TLDR I want to do so much in life and I want to connect with my dad, but I have friends here. Leaving my program so i can also become a better person, gain knowledge, strength and understand my father and build a better relationship with him would do me good even if it means sacrificing school for a bit and leaving friendships behind.

For context, the guy is actually my friend, which makes this a lot harder. I’ve always told him straight up that he needs to pick one or the other you can’t have a girlfriend and act single at the same time. He never listened. I thought he did as it always looked like he chose the girl, but I never realised what happened in the back ground.
In first year, I didn’t think much of it because he said they were on a break or “on and off,” so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
In second year, I started to feel like it wasn’t right and wanted to tell her. I found her socials, but literally the next day I was blocked. I later found out he tells her to block certain people, which explains that.
Now in third year, I’ve found out a lot more about what he’s been doing, and honestly it’s pretty disgusting. I felt like she deserved to know, so I made a fake account to message her (since my main was blocked). I tried to explain things without naming other people involved, just to respect their privacy.
But the guy saw the message and told her it was all lies, and she blocked that account too.
So at this point I feel like I’ve tried, but nothing came of it. Is there anything else I can realistically do here, or do I just leave it alone now?
TLDR: My friend has been cheating on his girlfriend all through uni. I’ve told him to choose between acting single or being in a relationship, but he never listened. I tried to tell her — got blocked on my main, then used a fake account, but he convinced her it was all lies and she blocked that too. I feel like I’ve done what I can… is there anything else I should do or just leave it?

Wilmington: I have an apartment, a boat detailing job I’m good at, plus I just landed a serving job at a restaurant I’ve wanted to work at for a while. I surf, work out, play guitar, hang with close friends. Weekends I work at this artsy pizza place I love. It’s comfortable, familiar, and genuinely a good life.

Nashville: No apartment until August, no job until a training program starts in September. But my brother lives there and is a real musician — we’ve already written 3 songs together and he asked me to sing in his side project. The music scene is there. It feels like the place where things could actually click for me musically.

The logistics point one way (Wilmington), but every time I talk about actually making music, Nashville is where it’s real and Wilmington is just hope. I don’t know if I’m being smart by staying somewhere stable, or just scared of the unknown.

Has anyone made a similar leap — chasing something uncertain but alive vs staying somewhere comfortable but stagnant? How’d it turn out?

TL;DR: 23M, have to decide today. Wilmington = stable job, apartment, friends, surf, good life already built. Nashville = no job/apartment yet, but brother’s there and we’ve already written 3 songs together, real shot at the music thing. Torn between comfort and the uncertain path that actually matters to me.

TL;DR should i wear an all-black fit or something different?

Im going to a party (18F) at a bar where there is going to be music and dancing. usually at this type of function i just pull an all-black fit and call it a day. however i head that at the bar we are going at people dress more fun and alternative and that kind of made me rethink. its not something too fancy, its more casual.

so im either think black flare pants with black corset top or light blue baggy jeans with a coloured top (or black). what do yall think? should i stick to the usual or should i play around? (i also accept outfits suggestions)

I (25F, "Kate") just got back from a week-long graduation trip in Playa del Carmen with my extended family, and I'm curious whether one of my relatives-by-marriage ("Ben," 29M) was actually flirting with me.

For context, we are not biologically related. His aunt married my uncle about 15 years ago. We've known each other for about 10 years through occasional family gatherings, but we didn't grow up together, weren't raised as cousins, and rarely saw each other. I actually had a small crush on him when I was 15 and he was 19, but he was simply nice to me back then and nothing happened.

He's very outgoing, funny, and teasing with pretty much everyone.

Over the course of the week, though, I noticed he seemed to seek me out quite a bit.

The first night, he chose to sit next to me at dinner. He told me he remembered seeing me play beer pong at a football game months earlier and said I'd done a really good job. I didn't even remember he had been there. During dinner he knocked over my chopsticks just to start a playful "chopstick fight," and throughout the night he kept making jokes dedicated to me ("To Kate!").

Throughout the trip we developed several inside jokes that he'd keep bringing up days later. He'd randomly revive them while we were watching soccer games or eating meals.

He frequently ended up sitting next to me or walking over to talk to me at meals, the pool, the sports bar, or while we were waiting around.

One night we had a long conversation about relationships. He told me his girlfriend had broken up with him about three weeks earlier and that he later found out she'd actually cheated on him.

I told him I thought he was really handsome and charismatic.

He thanked me, hugged me, smiled warmly at me, and then immediately asked if I was seeing anyone. When I said no, he asked about my dating history, and we talked about relationships for a while.

Other things he did throughout the week:

• Offered me his seat multiple times.
• Handed me water at the club.
• Gave me his drink when mine hadn't arrived yet.
• Personally brought me a chair at the sports bar.
• Offered to be my designated driver "anytime" after I told a funny story about driving my brother home.
• Complimented my shoes.
• Called me over by saying, "Kate, you're missing the gossip!"
• Laughed at a lot of my jokes (and I laughed at his).
• We'd often catch each other's eye after someone else said something funny.
• There were a few brief touches (hugging hello/goodbye, touching my forearm or shoulder while joking), but nothing overtly physical.

Toward the end of the trip I mentioned I'd love to go to Coachella and Ibiza after I finish grad school, and he enthusiastically said he was interested and high-fived me.

On the last morning he raised his coffee and announced it was "Kate's last drink," and when everyone was saying goodbye he told me, "That was so fun. I'll try to see you for Fourth of July."

On the other hand...

He's naturally very charismatic and jokes with almost everybody in the family.

And the day after I left the trip, he met a woman at a club, went home with her afterward, and later joked about it in our family group chat.

So now I'm wondering if I was reading too much into everything, or whether there really was some mutual chemistry there.

TL;DR: 25F spent a week on vacation with a 29M relative-by-marriage (not biologically related, didn't grow up together). He repeatedly sat next to me, remembered details about me from months earlier, built inside jokes with me, complimented me, offered me his chair/drinks, asked if I was single immediately after I told him he was handsome, talked about future plans together, and said he'd try to see me after the trip. However, he's naturally outgoing with everyone, and after I left he hooked up with a woman he met at a club. Was he actually flirting with me, or was this just his personality?

I currently live alone after years of terrible house shares. I have social anxiety and used to go on long bus rides every evening and travel 4hrs to my parents' house every weekend to get away from my last houseshare. I barely ate / cooked cos of guests in the kitchen and was having panic attacks even in my room with the door closed. Now that I live alone, I am finally calm, and my life has improved 1000%.

I lost my job and have to move to a new, very expensive city where I probably won't be able to afford to live alone. The new job is a great opportunity for me, and after 3 years I will be fully trained and can move elsewhere. It is very people facing though, so I think the new job combined with a house share will be too much. Everyone is telling me to just put up with it cos living alone would be over 50% of my paycheck.

What should I do? If I don't take the new job I will have no income. In my field, it could take over a year to get a new job. I am already dreading moving and am super stressed at the thought of moving in with strangers. I can honestly see myself giving the job up and moving back in with my parents.

Tldr: should I take a new job if it means I will have to move back into a house share?

TL;DR: should I try my luck in a new school or stick to what I’m used to already even if I’m not the happiest here?

This year I started high school, it is considered one of the best in the place I live at, the school work is manageable teachers aren’t the worst, but the class I’m in is really not great. The few friends I have all feel like hostage friendships (friends with me but if I mess up even a little they aren’t afraid to shit talk me, one of my friends even logged into the acc of one of their ex friend’s phone and showed everyone the private things on it). Or really just classmate friend(won’t ever go with me anywhere in summer break, only talk to me when I text etc).
Others in my class, esp the girls are those typical mean and cool girls, don’t outright bully you but you feel that they hate you. I feel happy sometimes, and I’m not full on depressed or anything it’s just more like surviving instead of thriving in this school.

This year was only a filler year so if I leave now I won’t lose a year or anything.
So should I stay or should I go?

TLDR

So I M18 want to earn some extra money on the side from my retail job. But can only think of 18+ content

I don’t have my license so do I just do that kind of content or wait till I get my license. Or do I do something else? If so what?

22M - Can’t decide between Nashville and Wilmington. Music career vs lifestyle.

I’ve been going back and forth on this for weeks, and I genuinely can’t tell if I’m thinking clearly anymore.
I’m 22, and my biggest goal is to make music. I sing, write songs, and eventually want to be in a band.
Here’s my dilemma:
Wilmington, NC
Already have a really good job lined up where I’d work about 4 hours a day and make good money.
I’d have tons of free time.
I surf, and being near the ocean is honestly a huge part of who I am.
I love the slower pace of life there.
I can picture myself waking up happy almost every day.
The downside is that the music scene is much smaller. I’d still make music, write songs, record, etc., but I probably wouldn’t be as immersed in a band scene.
Nashville
Obviously an incredible city for music.
Way more musicians, opportunities, and networking.
I’d be living closer to family.
The downside is I’d probably be working long shifts, including weekends and nights, just to pay bills. I’m worried I’d actually have less time and energy for music than I would in Wilmington. I’m also afraid I’d constantly miss the beach and surfing and end up feeling bored outside of music.
The thing that’s confusing me is that when I picture everyday life, Wilmington wins pretty easily. But when I think about my long-term career, Nashville feels like the “smart” choice.
Has anyone here chosen between a city that fit your lifestyle and a city that fit your career? Did you regret prioritizing one over the other?
I’d especially love to hear from musicians or anyone who’s lived in Nashville.

TL;DR: Torn between Wilmington and Nashville. Wilmington gives me a great job, lots of free time, surfing, and a lifestyle I love. Nashville offers a much better music scene, but I’d likely work longer hours and miss the beach. Heart says Wilmington, ambition says Nashville.

so, I (f23) have been invited by a good friend of mine to go to a dorm party and pre-game before that. I said yes because I had nothing better to do, plus I kind of abandoned my social life lately. especially this week, I basically only went to university and okay yeah I did socialise but barely.

anyway, my boyfriend asked me just an hour ago if I want to come later. I asked to what because earlier he just said he had a gig which he wouldn't be happy with so I shouldn't bother coming. he said he has to be at university for a while today but that I could come to his university at 7pm. I told him about the invitation to the party and ever since then he's just told me that I have to know what I want to do. I said yeah I'm not fully in the mood to go but there's people I'd want to hang out with and I just got a "you have to know" again.

and like I don't even know what we would do if he invites me to his university. his classes would be over then but after that? idk maybe go on a walk which I'm all for, but I agreed to meet up with my friends over a week ago so I don't really want to cancel.

especially since all week I was in my room not doing anything, hoping my boyfriend would have time but he always did other stuff. didn't even have to work or anything else he had to do, just stuff he wanted to do that day. (I mean yeah it was practice and gym mostly so it's fair he wants to do that stuff but he told me he didn't do anything all day before that so I just thought to myself - why didn't you do stuff earlier then? we could've met up).

anyway this is the one plan I made this entire week so I don't really want to cancel but then again I do also want to see my boyfriend. we saw each other this week but a lot less than usual since one day was his gig so yeah I saw him but he was busy mostly so we didn't interact much. another day we went to a park and just spent time together for the evening until he went home to prepare for the gym (which he asked me to come along to but I had stuff to do and would have to stay at his place, so wouldn't get anything done + he was already going with a friend of his so I said you two just go)

so yeah now I low-key feel bad because I do want to meet my boyfriend but at the same time, I'm always free! this is the one singular plan I made this week and this is apparently this one evening he'd actually have time but he didn't tell me any of that beforehand!

and now his messages made it sound like he's a bit pissed off with his repeated "it's up to you" like come on, I always respect when he makes other plans and now I'm here feeling bad for having made one plan.

idk I want to do both but I feel like if I go to him before I won't go to the party and if I go to the pre-game/party i just feel like it'll be late already. (we do usually meet late since my boyfriend is quite busy, but of course today is the one day he is free before 9pm). and yes I would take him along to the party but he's not really into that (neither am I tbh, I don't plan on staying too long) plus he sounded very uninterested when I mentioned it

so, what should I do?

TLDR: I made plans with some friends of mine and now my boyfriend has time for me at the same time and I want to go to both which would be a logistical nightmare

Hello! So I’m 19 soon to turn 20 and I’m wondering should I move out in the next few months or wait a few more years?.

Context - I live with my mom and sister I have my own bedroom but me and my sister share a bathroom. A few months ago me and sister had a conversation that sparked my desire to think about moving out. Me and my mother’s relationship is not great, most times we talk it’s arguments, we don’t see eye to eye. I am annoyed by her very presence. Growing up she was not the best parent and it has bled into my now life, granted she is MUCH less toxic than she used to be. But overall it is not the best environment to be in as it feeling suffocating and like I’m being treated like I’m 13 it’s an extremely suffocating situation she even treats my 25 year old sister like she’s still a kid and is overbearing with her and she has moved out years ago.

There are no decorations in the house, nothing that screams this is a home where people live. Just sad plain and cold look.

I began looking and taking tours of apartments with my sister after an incident happened with me and my mom as we planned to move out together, she hasn’t been ready yet which has constantly pushed me back on my desired move out time. I initially wanted to be moved out by June 2026 but since my sister wasn’t ready we agreed upon August which got pushed back again to December and now she isn’t gonna be ready till June 2027, which I cannot wait on.

She herself isn’t the cleanest person to live with, everything she eats wears or does lays around the house for days and it’s a mess, and the bathroom we share it is always messy and dirty and in my opinion trashy. She leaves her hair product every where her make up her clothes and I’m not super duper clean but I hate sharing that space because I hate a dirty bathroom and I clean up the bathroom more times than not even after her. And we also don’t get along very well either due to our childhood relationship and things that happened to us.

Now about me. I am in school and I have car insurance, phone bill and other small bills that usually add up to about $350 I pay a month and that’s it. Once I start school that’ll go up to about $650 a month. If you’re curious about savings I have about half a year of months rent saved up. I do have a job, and other ways I make income.

Am I rushing this or should i keep looking and pushing to move out soon! Thanks in advance

TL;DR
Should I move out of my okay family home environment I crave my own space and individuality and living here won’t provide that for me. I am a college student who pays for everything she has. So should I just plan to move in the next few months by myself or wait till I complete college. My OCD when it comes to my sisters cleanliness pushes me to say I gotta get out now including my off putting relationship with my mom. I don’t hate living here but I know I would be much happier leaving. I have a decent savings right now.

I want to get into language studies, and i'm torn between japanese and chinese. for japanese, the admission grade is 8,87 (last year) and i'm 8,94 right now, so i'd be there, but very close. that being said, for chinese, there was no last grade, everyone got in. so i dont know what to do, i prefer japan studies a lot more but its not as safe as the Chinese program, and i can only pick one TT

TL;DR: do i go for the program i prefer that's less sure to get me in or do i go for the 100% safe program that will get me in but that i like way less