Just to hear some stories about this.
Tbh, im in a situation with someone ive dated for a few years and realized maybe our goals, our morals, etc. do not align. And some of our issues that started a year ago never went away.
There's someone in my life who i felt kind of stabbed me in the back that is no longer in my life. He doesnt have a common name but his name has come up with people i meet and I get negative feelings rush up.
It got me to thinking if i ever married someone and they just happened to want to name their kid that (maybe a family name or something) if i would be ok with that and i dont think i would.
Just wondering if other people have named their kids a name that just happened to be about someone who wronged them (an ex, bully, former friend, etc) or if you've requested to not give the kid that name due to that person from your past?
My GF and I have been dating for a few years and live together. We are both from the northeast (she's from NY and im from southern NH) but now live in the south. I grew up in practically city-life (near boston and surrounding mid-size cities) where she grew up pracitaclly in small town life.
We met down here and honestly have had convertsation of moving elsewhere the last few years. I work remote in tech, and she works as a healthcare professional. She used ot do travel work before she got a FT job a few years ago but has shown interest if we leave she'd could do travel work again.
She always had interest in moving to Oregon, ive had interest in Colorado. Our first year dating we did a trip to oregon becuase she wanted me to see the state and see if i could enjoy it. I really did enjoy the state but Portland as a city i didnt really love. Nothing against it but i didnt feel like it was a city and having grown near Boston i love cities taht feel like they have something going on there. Businesses, walkable, etc. When we came back i was honest and said that what worried me was lack of job opportunity for me if i ever lost my job because she wanted to live in middle of nowhere Oregon (near california border). Plus i wanted to be able to be near an airport to easily get to my family if i needed to.
When i suggested us try out colorado, she seemed very uninterested. Took us over a year to finally go to colorado. The whole time we were there, she liked it but she kept saying "it's not oregon though". For me i hadnt been there in years and i really enjoyed everything about it. For me it's not the best at everything but it's above average at everything, nature, city-life, job opportunities, etc. After that whenever it gets brought up, even in front of people she seems very uninterested in talking about colorado and even tries to get others to convince me oregon is better. Like on etime we talked to a real etate guy in our home state who has family and friends in both colorado and oregon. I told him our situation and was generally curious what he thought and he basically said that colorado was our better choice due to my career, the city life, how cheaper it was than our current city, etc. My GF overheard and kept edging him to hype up oregon and he basically said "oregon's nice but it's definetely not better than colorado, especially for you two". But my GF just wlaked away from the conversation once she saw he wasnt going to get convinced.
for me it's practical:
- I want a place where if i ever got laid off i could easily get another job without taking a huge paycut. I work in tech so lay-offs are just something we know we have to live with. Plus remote jobs are harder to find nowadays. Im lucky my job is still remote.
- Denver's got the city life I want but also we'd be close to nature like she would like.
- AIrport has a lot of connections and it wouldnt be half a days trip just to fly anywhere.
- She works in healthcare and has said she can easily work anywhere.
For her i feel like the reasons ive heard are:
- I work remote so i should be able to work from anywhere with no issues.
- Oregon is prettier and she always saw herself living there.
How do you decide where to move to? What factors do you weigh in?
Hi all,
Ive been on a weightloss trend this year. Im 5'8" and i got to like 250 lbs in january (most ive ever weighed). My whole life ive gone up and down in weight. Last 5 years or so ive been as low as 185 and as high as 250. When im losing weight i get really motivated, basically am at the gym 5+ days a week, eating more lean, etc. But this time i watned to be smarter about it, i watned to lose it slowly so i didnt gain it quickly again.
So by late april i was around 238-240 but felt like i plateaued because i was around 238 for almost 2 months.
Then we went on a trip and of course, we ate a lot to the point i was too scared to even weigh my self. My GF wanted us to do WW as she said she needs to lose a lot of wieght too.
So far it's been a week. First day of WW i decied to weigh myself and had fear i was back to like 250 again because i just felt so bloated from the trip. To my surprise i was still 238, but a bloated 238. After a week ive lost 5 lbs and currently sit at 233.
My GF told me yesterday she gained weight, gained about 3 lbs. She says she's on her period so i told ehr that it could be the period as she always mentions how her weight goes up when she has her period. I also told her that i exercise a lot more than she does so it could be that too, im at a crossfit gym and i basically go every day. And days im not there i try to do 30 minutes on the stairmaster to get some cardio done. Where she tries to get 10k steps daily. Also i told her that im not really trying to waste my points during the week. i get about 40 pts a day but i try to sstay around 20 pts. Where she gets about 35 pts a day eats around 30 pts a day. But i could tell that she was struggling with the idea that she gained weight and is kind of gettig discouraged.
Anything i can do to help her stay motivated?
I think her seeing me succeed so quickly is not helping her confidence. I know maybe this fits better in relationship subs but i thought maybe in a weightloss sub i could find people who've had similar experiences.
I was born in the USA but my parents are DR born. WHen i was a kid they naturalized me as a dominican citizen (about 20 years ago). I lived in DR for a few years as a teenager and still have my minors cedula. Few weeks back i went to apply for the cedula when i was visiting my family in another state that has a consulate nearby. THey told me that they had to verify the birth certificate and it could take a few hours but by end of day it would be ready.
It's been 2 weeks and my dad has been calling JCE in DR everyday and they tell him the same thing. He finally spoke to a manager who said that because im naturalized there's more stuff they have to prove but im in the system as processing so it could be any day now.
I live in a state where closest JCE office is 3 hours away. I dont mind doing the drive but id rather go on a day where i am off of work. This friday my job is closing for the day so im hoping to be able to drive there if the validation is done by then.
Just wondering if anyone has gone through that experience. When should i expect that to be done?
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Nací en los Estados Unidos, pero mis padres son oriundos de la República Dominicana. Cuando era niño, mis padres me naturalizaron como ciudadano dominicano (hace unos 20 años). Viví en la República Dominicana durante algunos años en mi adolescencia y todavía conservo mi cédula de menor. Hace unas semanas, fui a solicitar mi cédula de identidad mientras visitaba a mi familia en otro estado que cuenta con un consulado cercano. Me informaron que debían verificar mi certificado de nacimiento; me dijeron que el proceso podría tomar unas horas, pero que estaría listo para el final del día.
Ya han pasado dos semanas, y mi padre ha estado llamando a la JCE en la República Dominicana todos los días, recibiendo siempre la misma respuesta. Finalmente, logró hablar con un supervisor, quien le explicó que, dado que soy ciudadano naturalizado, existen requisitos adicionales de verificación que deben cumplir; no obstante, mi expediente ya figura en el sistema como "en proceso", por lo que podría estar listo en cualquier momento.
Actualmente resido en un estado donde la oficina de la JCE más cercana se encuentra a tres horas de distancia. No me importa hacer el viaje en carro, pero preferiría ir un día en el que no tenga que trabajar. Este viernes mi lugar de trabajo permanecerá cerrado, así que tengo la esperanza de poder conducir hasta allí, siempre y cuando el proceso de validación se haya completado para entonces.
Me preguntaba si alguien más ha pasado por una experiencia similar. ¿Cuándo debería esperar que finalice este trámite?
Guy here,
I feel like i always hear from men how they have a girl that got away, or they were dumb and lost the girl over their selfish reason, obliviousness or lack of growth.
Just curious to hear the other side of the spectrum. Any guy you regret losing? If so, what happened and what do you wish you or him had done differently to make it work?
I always hear how women complain they have to be their BFs/Husbands mom. But ive had moments where i had to feel like im my GF's dad.
My GF and I have been living together for over a yera. It's been mostly great but last few months we've had some hiccups and fights.
For me i feel like she puts a lot of emotional suppor ttowards other people in her life (friends mostly) but then expects me to be this stable person. Anything hard in her life that may cause a little stress, she begs me to do it for her. It almost feels like i have to be her dad and cater to her needs.
Few things:
- she is nervous talking to anyone new. Like someone rings the doorbell, she will wai tfor me to do it. WHen i ask "why didnt you respond?" and she says "it scares me to do it".
- She never takes her car to the shop and when she does it's when it's practically damaged and wants me to do it because she's scared of the mechanics (she goes to jiffy lube).
- Doesnt have a PCP and will freak out and say "i need you to do it for me" even when i went out of my way to go through her shitty insurance website (which looks liek it came from 2002), found her a list of PCPs that will take her and all she had to do was call.
- I have global entry, she does not. I always tell her to get it even though it's never been a problem. Then last month we had a layover coming back to the US. I got to the gate in 20 minutes and was there an hour before the door closed. She got to the gate an hour later and i was practically begging the people to keep the door open. Afterwards she said that she needed me to do the application for her so she could do it.
- Gets taken advantage of by friends and half the time i feel like im just repeating the same words my dad would say to me when i was a shy kid. "stick up for yourself", "stop being a pushover" etc.
Im all for helping her but it's getting to the point where i just feel like im almost like her dad. Im sure she has stories on me too (she says she feels she cleans up for me more than she should which i try to do better on). Anybody else feel similar or have felt similar?
Hi all, my GF and I started Weight Watchers (WW) this week. We both struggle with weight. I started crossfit this year and that's helped but my food intake has taken small hits here and there (only lost about 10 lbs this year but im more athletic due to crossfit).
Im doing it more to be supprotive and a helping hand but so far in my first day im learning the point system.
Just wanted to see, how was it for you? Any tips for someone just starting?
TBH, as i get older i see shows like friends in a different light. When i see friend groups similar to these groups something i noticed is that these groups seem to think that the rest of the world needs to fit into their grouip dynamic no matter how toxic it is.
Like, person breaks up wiht someone because they dont like that they are friends with their ex? That person must be weird.
Or seems that toxic traits the group might have is ok for them to have but once someone else has it, ti's the end of the world.
It really got me to thinking that maybe this is the generation that grew up with shows like this where it seemed like anyone who went against the betterment of the friend group is evil or just weird.
Anybody else feel the same?
Hi all,
I got a few tooth pulled like 3 months ago and have my implant placement tomorrow. I had a lot going on last month so maybe i misunderstood but today i got a call about pre-surgery preparation and was surprised to hear that they want to put me on the twilight anesthesia.
Basically ill be fully awake but ill likely forget everythign that happened and feel loopy the whole time. I was surprised they wanted that because im pretty a dentist's delight. every dentist has enjoyed me (and theyve gone out of their way to say it) because im pretty patient. I just close my eyes and go to my happy place and i dont jump, get nervous or anything. And since the pullin gof teeth was just me getting numb, i thought pulling the teeth would be the haredest part of this procedure but i guess i was wrong.
Anybody have experience with this? What should i expect from the anesthesia? How long did you feel back to "normal"?
My GF and I were vacationing in South America for a week and she brought up why i dont just live like a king in one of these countries. I work in tech, make very good money and tbh i possibly could. I grew up in a latin country during my middle school and high school days so i know the langauge and how to move around in the city.
Thing is personally i have no interest in doing so for a few reasons:
- When it comes to job id be worried to get caught and have no interest in taking "measures' to avoid getting caught. I work for a big tech company and right now it's "dont ask dont tell" but im sure if one day the executives wanted to make budget cuts theyd start trying to see where people are signing in from.
- I lived in latin america and as beautiful as it is (and cheaper) i know it's a pretty much hustle culture that i dont want to be part of. Basically everyone has to be out for themselves and some people dont mind pushing you aside to get what's theirs. Infrastructure is not the best, potholes everywhere, you can easily be next to a pretty bad neighborhood and it's easy to walk down the wrong street, etc. Even living having to knwo that someone might be watching you. I have relatives who change even their routing of when tehy leave for work, what routes they take, etc because theyve gotten robbed in front of their house for leaving at same time everyday. Plus i know a lot of these places you basically have to accept staying in your own little area in town because driving anywhere could take forever and driving laws are suggestions.
Maybe im paranoid but just wanted to hear some stories of people who have done it.
How has it gone for you (or how did it go for you)? Was it what you imagined? Was there culture shocks that surprised you? Did you ever get caught and if so what happened? Did you feel like you were living like a king and saving a bunch of money?
I turned 30 recently and honestly looking around it's crazy to me how some people still behave well past 30 (some 40s and 50s).
Like i remember being a kid and thinking "oh people dont act like this past a certain age".
And now i realized people still do.
Some examples include:
- A person i knew got mad because we were hosting an event and didnt realize it was around the date he was travelling and got maad that we didnt work around his schedule. It was an event of like 30 people and there were limited weekends we could do it. The guy's like 40 and he kept saying crappy remarks about how we are fake for not considering him.
- i knew a person who got upset because he wanted to see a cartoon movie. He was out of town for a few weeks and people had free time and wanted to see the movie. When he found out he held it against the group for a year. Almost like he expects people's lives to stop because he was out of town.
- People who seem to make every wrong financial decision but then complain that their 70k-100k salary is poor and they can never get ahead on a salary like that (single people no kids). But then get mad when you suggest "maybe you shouldnt buy 300 dollar in drinks every weekend".
And more examples. Maybe im being inconsiderate but the older i grow the more i just see people basically being babies at an older age. I even see more and more men who basically just expect to be carried by other men and women.
Has it always been like this? Anybody else experience this?
I play in a league where if youre down a player (you have 9 instead of 10) you have to take an out at the end of the lineup.
It's happened to us a few times, and last month we had a team show up with 9 players. We werent sure how good this team was so we decided to take the out. Our team isnt one of the better teams eitehr but we manage. We are middle of the pack, we can beat a bad team easily, have competitive games vs other middle of the pack teams and if we play perfectly we can give the better teams a run for their money or lose by 10+ runs.
It's a new team to our league so we werent sure. The game was close early until we broke through in the last 2 innings. It was kind of clear we were better than them. they had a few good players but out of 9 players like 2 of them were good rest were clearly newer players who could barely get it out the infield.
By the last inning we were up by 10 runs and their automatic out was coming up. Umpire asks us if it's ok that they have 3 outs this inning. Everyone looks at me since im captain.
I grew up in sports and tbh i grew up thinking that if you need rules like this to win then you arent a good player or team. That there's just an unwritten rule that certain calls you dont make especially if youre up by a lot. So i said let them have 3 outs. Multiple people on my team did not like that decision (especially the more competitive people on my team).
My arguyment was, the team is clearly not better than us, we are up 10 in the last inning, if the reason we lost was because we didnt take the automatic out, then we deserve to lose and are a shitty team and i just dont think we are that bad. If we were up 2 in the last inning than i would've glady taken the automatic out. And just because other teams (who were better than us) took the automatic out in similar situations doesnt mean i want to be the guy whose up 10 and does that too. We ended up winning without allowing a run that inning.
What would have been the best choice in that situation?
Trying to set a solid coed slowpitch lineup and wanted to get some opinions.
Rule is no 3 guys in a row and we’ve got seven M and four F so our lineup is easy to not break the rule.
Roster
- Ace (M) – best hitter, power + consistent. Only guy who has hit a home run on our team. Played HS ball
- OP (M) – power, lots of doubles. More of a line drive hitter. Also played HS ball, potential to hit one out.
- Chip (M) – gets on base a ton, mostly singles. Didnt play but athletic enough to figure it out.
- Duke (M) – streaky, singles hitter. Similar to chip.
- Echo (M) – not much power, bloop hits
- Flash (M) – big power but streaky. Either strikes out trying to hit it a mile away or gets a hold of one and hits it a mile away.
- Ghost (M) – really fast. But hits it in the air more than he should.
- Harper (F) – best girl, can hit for extra bases. Teams play in on her and she hits it over OF head a lot.
- Indy (F) – solid, gets on base. Occasional double
- Jules (F) – newer strikes ojt a bit.
- Kai (F) – newer but can make contact
We are playing one of the better teams this week. So want to make sure i put a lineup that flows well. My lineups have been putting myself towards the bottom because when i did best hitters first our bottom of the lineup were quick 1-2-3 innings. And i usually start off with ghost, harper and ace to start off. But now im wondering if it would be betterto start with harper then ace and have myself higher in the lineup since im starting to have more of a power surge lately.
Curious how you’d line this up. Would you stack your best 3 up top or spread them out nmore?
Appreciate any input
Hi all,
I grew up about 30 mintues from the stadium and moved out of state like 5 years ago. I remember i used to go to a bunch of games and ace ticket for a few years was my preferred site when it was the official red sox website. They barely had fees for sox games, they had most tickets there and i could get really good seats for a fair price, sometimes for an amazing price (i.e. I went to Game 2 of 2018 ALCS in Loge box area down 3B line for 50 dollars a ticket but i admit this was a once in a blue moon miracle at the time. just right place at right time).
Then i remember the red sox stopped partnering with them for a few years and it wasnt as great of a site to get cheap tickets. And then i moved away. Now i noticed the red sox are back to partnering with them. Is this still a good site for tickets?
Im in town this weekend visiting family and i have more free time than i thought so im thinking of hitting up the game tonight or tomorrow.
I recently got myself into slowpitch softball after 10 years out of baseball.
My mechanics were off so i took some time to work in them, got a tee, saw some videos on best approaches, etc. and honestly lately has started to clic for me.
As a baseball player i had a lot of natural power. Times where i was doing everything well i was hitting bombs like crazy, but there were times i had slight mechanical bad habits and id be striking out like crazy. I was a pretty streaky hitter.
With slowpitch i just lost all my power and could barely even get hits. After i took some time to practice and watch clips ive gotten my good mechanics back and now im hitting bombs like crazy. Even going to pitching machines and putting the soeed at the highest im hitting pitches at the machine that i was struggling to hit 10 years ago. Especially learning how to use knob to ball, and pointing knob towards catcher when loading.
Makes me wish i figured this out 10-15 years ago but should coulda woulda i guess.
Anyone else feel that way too?
My sister just had her 3rd kid and ive been staying with my parents to help them care for her two 4 year old twin boys.
One of the 2 is pretty active and a little stubborn. My mom has pretty short patience so I can tell her paitence is going thin. Im working remote so i try to help but i also gotta focus on work as well.
Im thinking of just handing him my phone to play a mario/yoshi GBA game but i also feel like that's kind of bad parenting lol. I clearly have no kids of my own. They are on the mario/luigi craze due to the movie and i can download gba games on my phone so i was thinking of just downloading yoshi's island and letting him have a go. But i also dont want to be the reason he asks my sister for a switch tomorrow becuase he discovered video games lol.
Im also considering to put on a video. Does any of this sound like a good idea?
I played baseball growing up. My one problem was that i always had a pretty poor arm. i was an oufielder for the most part. My arm wasnt the worst, but it also wasnt the best.
I started slowpitch last year and have been slowly getting back into shape but my arm is the thing that just hasnt been able to get back to old form. I feel like i throw half the speed i used to.
I get why, it's probably the part of my game im getting the least reps right now. Im usually playing OF and im not really throwing much darts to the infield and it's a super casual league so not much players have the experience to hit it there.
But id at least want to feel like i dont have a noodle arm. Any good exercise to get that arm back?