r/toddlers

For us, it's La Bamba. At least we've moved on from A Ram Sam Sam...

My girl will be 2 years old in October - I haven't decided between a ghost or an astronaut, LOL. What are yours?

As title says. We have one, i told my husband that a friend and quite a few people have more than one, he can't understand why 😂 i told him some are lightweight, trail, fold labke etc... so I'm just curious hahahah. I've seen some reels alluding to owning more than one.

How many do you have and why

We went to the mall today and my oldest (3F) wanted to go play on the little playground thing. So we get there, take her shoes off and off she goes. Not long after, these two women come up with 4 boys, and send them in, right past the giant green sign that says "this playground is for children under 42" in height, you must be shorter than the arrow to play". One of the kids was probably only a couple inches over it, but the oldest one was towering over it, he was taller than the floor of the treehouse structure. He was also standing there shoving one of the smaller boys up the slide for almost 5 minutes while my daughter was waiting at the top so she could go down. The two bigger kids would sit and block stuff, and run full force around the small area, knocking into people. The parents weren't even paying attention 90% of the time and then the few times they were they were actually encouraging the youngest one (probably 2-2.5) to climb up the slide, while there were others waiting to go down it, and calling him a good baby for doing it.

I understand it sucks when your kids want to play and some of them are too big for the area, but it is a play structure for SMALL children. There are height limits and requirements at certain places for a reason, to uphold the integrity of the play equipment, and to maintain safety for those using it. The structure is not designed for my 11 month old, so she doesn't play on it, it's literally that simple.

Idk, maybe it's not that big of a deal, but as someone who is trying to teach my kids to be respectful and follow the rules, seeing other people just let their kids do as they please because it's more convenient for them, is annoying and frustrating. I want my children to be kind, respectful, and courteous of others, but seeing how many people just let their kids be bulldozers is really discouraging. I'm trying to teach her to stand up for herself too, but she's 3, it's a hard thing to do, especially when most people are bigger than you.

My baby is 16months, 90th percentile for height and 60s for weight currently. She has been wearing 18-24m for a while now but the 18m onesies now no longer fit and I’m honestly having such a hard time finding 24m clothes! She has a small handful of dresses that are 24m. I finally tried on some of her 2T outfits since she got a lot of cute sets for her birthday but all the bottoms fall off her her and I need to use a rubber band to keep them up 😭

For anyone in a similar boat with a thin kid are we just doing the rubber bands daily?

I have an early riser (5-5:30am) and I need him to stay in his room until 6am. We have a gro clock to tell him when he can leave his room but it doesn’t work. I need bribe ideas people. We’ve tried the star method for prizes, timers, trips to the dollar store or toy store for a big prize, a sleepover with mama, etc. He does not care. Help meeeeeeeeee 💤🥱

EDIT : we do walk him back to his room everytime and make him wait. It’s been two months of absolute meltdowns and continuous walking back and forth. We’ve also tried adjusting his sleep schedule (later/earlier/ shortening nap, etc) he just wakes up early he’s been like this since he was 1.)

I have a 20-month-old who started gagging herself on purpose about two months ago, but the behavior has now intensified to the point where she is making herself vomit daily. From what I've read online, it's normal, and you should try not to react. We definitely had a big reaction in the beginning, but have now stopped reacting, and it doesn't help, although reacting certainly makes it worse.

From what I've read, toddlers typically stop the behavior because vomiting because it doesn't feel good and tastes bad. However, she will make herself vomit and then just continue gagging herself until she vomits more. She most often does it in her car seat, so the whole car seat is covered in vomit by the time we are done with her car ride. I don't have time to deep-clean her car seat every day, and I'm getting so frustrated. Does anyone have any tips for getting through this phase? I know the gagging is normal, but is this frequency of vomiting really normal?

Just curious! My daughter just turned 2. Our favorite family activity has always been walks. We take a stroller but lately she doesn’t want to sit in it and likes to push it herself. This is great for us because it’s tiring all of us out at the same time haha. Lately we’ve noticed she will go for longggg distances. Today she walked about two miles with me!! Do all toddlers do this or does she have super strength?

My husband wants to go visit our home country for 1 month and bring our 2 year old toddler along with him. I would stay here and continue working. He has a side business there that he wants to spend a little time attending to and visit family. He would have my MIL at his disposal to help at any given time, and I know she would gladly do it because she doesn't see our son often and she's taken care of him when we've visited before.

My issues with this though are the following,

1. We just enrolled him in daycare to start in September. We're enrolling him because we feel like being around other children will be beneficial to him and it gets him out the house. Currently my parents watch him while we work. We can take a month hiatus from daycare, we'd just have to pay half of the monthly tuition to hold his spot.

2. My biggest concern is that our son was a 24 weeker preemie. We saw his development and behavioral specialist last week and she suggested 4 months of intense therapy. He's currently getting behavioral therapy and speech therapy 1x a week each through early intervention, and she's suggested adding 1x a week of speech therapy outpatient at the therapy center and 1x a week of OT also at the therapy center. There's some concern of autism, but he's also shown improvement from our last appointment a few months so she wants to give him more time with therapy and give it until he's 2 years old corrected age, and then reevaluate about doing an autism evaluation since it's still a little difficult to say whether some of the things we're seeing are just delays due to prematurity or may be flags for autism.

I would love the break but I feel like this is not the right time to do something like this specifically because of point #2, but my husband thinks otherwise.

What would you do?

ETA: My husband on average does 2 trips a year and we typically accompany him on 1. Usually the trips with us are 1-2 weeks, not an entire month.

I think about this in general, but right now mostly in the context of daycare. I’ve always been a frugal person but that has gone out the window since having kids.

I’ve toured 12 (!) daycares for my 2 yo and newborn. Not all expensive daycares are good quality, and not all affordable daycares are poor quality. But the best daycare I’ve seen in terms of teachers, facilities, and curriculum is one of the most expensive.

For context, this daycare center is $4200 a month between the two kids. A decent daycare center that’s farther away is $2900, and a decent home daycare is $2000. A nanny in our area costs $30-35 an hour for two kids, so over $5k a month before taxes and benefits.

We can technically afford all the options (well, not the nanny), it just means minimal savings for a couple years. All 3 options are safe. Our kids would be spending 10 hours a day M-F at daycare.

Do things like quality curriculum and play space matter that much at this age? Obviously I want the best for my kids, but we could probably fund a good chunk of their college with the difference in cost. They don’t necessarily have to go to the same daycare, but for convenience and securing a spot in the next age group it makes sense to us.

What are your thoughts on balancing cost with wanting the best for your kids?

Hello! I am just looking for some support and comfort right now. I am a stay at home Mom to a very opinionated 18 month old little girl. I feel like over the past several weeks. Our house has been nothing but whining, screaming and tantrums. She sometimes wakes up in a good mood, other times, whining upon wake up. I move my leg the wrong way while she’s sitting on my lap? Tantrum. She wants to touch something dangerous? Tantrum. She is constantly crying for me and wants to be held and carried. I can barely put her down at home anymore. She is starting to refuse sitting in her highchair and clutching to me crying and screaming. She is a great sleeper, and somewhat decent eater. I feel like I am starting to lose it! My husband is in the military and has been away at work for two months. I am lucky to have extremely supportive family who let me take an hour or so break to get my nails done or do housework, etc. Is this level of clunginess/tantrum/what feels like emotional instability normal at this age? I feel like every other toddler I know is very opposites and goes with the flow. I take her to playgroups and the library and she does very good with other little ones there. I just am feeling extremely burnt out as I feel like I can do absolutely nothing right in her eyes. Thanks :( please be nice

Edit for context: I am a young cancer survivor and have a lot of health issues of my own. I am staying at home, not necessarily by choice, but because I lost my job while undergoing active cancer treatment. I feel like when she is moody all day every day I feel extremely anxious and like I’m walking on eggshells in my own home.

I'm a foster carer.

We have cared for our little girl since she was a baby, and now, at 3 years old, she's gone back to live with her birth mother.

I would rather not get comments on why she went back, or that "That's the nature of foster care". People within and outside of the system all disagree with it. The girls relatives disagree with it. But nothing can be done. Nothing. I looked.

I miss reading stories to her. I miss her sitting on my shoulders while we walked around a shop. I miss her hiding my phone with her mischievous grin. I miss checking on her every night before I go to bed myself. I miss holding her, playing with her, showing her the world. I miss how small her hand is in mine, and how big her hugs made me feel. I miss how when she's very tired she'd ask to sit on my shoulders, would rest her head on mine, and absent-mindedly rub my beard to soothe herself. I even miss tantrums and seeing her grow up in unexpected ways that only toddlers can. I miss her constantly asking me why, and then, when I was running out of answers and I'd turn it back on her with "well, why do you think why?" she'd give fascinating answers. I miss her random singing and testing out the world, like saying Abracadabra when alone to test if she has magic. She does have magic, just not the way she thinks.

I probably won't see her again, despite caring for her for three years. Me and my other half are her real parents. We love her incredibly. I just miss her.

Toddlers have a special magic. You are their everything. Their world. Their protectors, best friends, teachers, leaders, guides, chefs, butlers, maids, chauffeurs, and idols. The love you get from a toddler is unmatched.

So, dear toddler mums, dads, and non-binary parents, do me a favour. Give your little ones incredibly tight hugs from me, a sad man on the internet, and love them a little bit more.

And treasure this age.

EDIT: I posted this going to bed, just feeling sorry for myself and writing just to get her feelings out. I'm blown away by the support and kind words, especially from those who said I made their days better, or made them appreciate their children more.

For those with questions, I can answer some but not all. I'm not in the US, so the laws and procedures are different. Whether we see her again is completely dependent on her birth mum (birth dad is not on the scene, the mum is single). Birth mum said she wants us to be a part of the child's life going forward, but she's gone 15 days as I wrote this and I've heard nothing.

Birth mum filed a complaint about me specifically once. Once, when the child was crying and begging not to be left at mums for a visit, I got on my knees and reassured the child, hugging her and saying "it's okay, you're safe, I'll be back in 6 hours". The mum claimed I was making things difficult for her, the mum. I don't have a lot of confidence in the mum staying true to her word of letting the child see us.

I have made it abundantly clear that if the child needs a foster home again, we will always be here for her. What makes it hard is that even people in the system have said they believe the mum will fail anyway, and she'll be back to us. But I don't want that, as the child will suffer.

We cannot have biological children ourselves, and adoption in our country can take upwards of 10 years, so this is how we will experience parenthood. Our plan is to continue to foster, once we're ready. But we are always going to hold a space in our home for this little girl.

My girl is 2 years and 8 months old. We’ve been trying to potty train off and on since she turned 2.5 back in June, with essentially no success. She’s shown all the “typical” signs of readiness. She’s pooped in the potty a handful of times, but never peed in the potty. She will tell us when she’s pooping in her pull up/diaper, and will often run and hide to poop. She stays dry for 2-3 hours at a time. She’s dry overnight and through nap times. But she just cannot seem to make the pee feeling connection, and is extremely against pooping in the potty anymore. Anytime she’s wearing underwear, she’s guaranteed to pee in them. No amount of bribing or incentives have worked. We have multiple potty books, she even has multiple friends in her daycare classroom actively potty training. We’ve tried the “Oh Crap” method. She’s a very stubborn child.
I keep hearing and reading everyone say “wait until they’re ready, if they’re resisting, they aren’t ready.” But then you look up signs of readiness and it’s the dryness, awareness of pooping, etc. I’m so frustrated because I don’t understand how to know when they’re actually ready. I’m afraid if I wait for her to tell me she’s ready, she’ll just never be potty trained.

If I have to check her blood pressure with a drill one more time I'm gonna lose it 🤣

So I took the day off of work today to get my hair done while my son was at daycare. It’s a pretty big change-bangs and highlights. When I went to pick up my son, he looked confused and then started crying and hugging his teacher :( my heart shattered. Usually he runs to me and hugs me and wants me to pick him up so to see him scared and not want to come to me was heartbreaking. I didn’t even think that he may not recognize me or feel overwhelmed by the change.
I guess I just needed to share. He’s ok now, back to normal playing and giving hugs, but I feel like a lousy mom for springing that on him.

My sweet boy just turned 3 a month ago and we are expecting in January. We’ve told him there is a baby in mommy’s belly, but when we talk about it he just points to his own belly and talks about his baby. Any good books or videos out there that may help him understand or prep for baby over the coming months? I also have cervical insufficiency with a cerclage so we are really trying to instill that he must be gentle with mommy and my belly.

This all just went down a half hour ago. My son just turned 2 and we went to our local splash pad and today. There was a group of 4 older boys (maybe 8-9ish) roughhousing and running around. No problem, I’ll just watch my LO and make sure he doesn’t run into their path.

One of the boys seems to kinda eye up my son while he’s playing with one of those water blasters. The kid comes over and snatches it out of my son’s hands, says no, and won’t let go. I went up to him, said my son was playing with that, and asked him to let it go. He said “too bad I am now.” I told him that wasn’t nice or how you share and he just ignored me. Not gonna fight the kid.

We walked away and I was looking for his mom to say something about his behavior. He then went over to the little splash spot my son was at and sat on it. My son just stared at him, we had an identical interaction to the one before, and my son put his head down and started crying. A very kind grandpa who was there with his grand daughter offered my son a cookie, and told me that unfortunately we will get that a lot in the world and that his autistic grandkid was just being bullied by the same kid and when he said something to the mom, she did nothing.

I spotted the mom and told her that I didn’t appreciate her son taking stuff from a baby. She scoffed at me, yelled at her kid to get over there, didn’t apologize or anything, and then ALLOWED HER OLDER SON TO BEAT THIS BOY OVER AND OVER WITH HIS FISTS IN HIS HEAD.

I was shocked. The oldest of the 3 tried to break it up and the mom said “no I told him he could”. I said what the fuck and they ended up leaving.

But like, WHAT THE FUCK. Not like I can call the cops for child abuse because they left and I have no idea who they are. And also, it was another kid so is that child abuse? I have literally never experienced anything like that and have no idea what to do now.

Update: I called the cops and gave a description. They basically said it’s kids getting into a fight and nothing they can do about it.

This is more of a rant than anything. As well as a gut check just making sure I’m not totally wrong on this one.

Yesterday we took a 4 hour flight with our 3 year old in the middle of the afternoon. Around the 3 hour mark, he started singing a bit loudly. This continued for about 10 minutes despite our attempts to ask him to be quiet and redirect him. Then, the woman sitting in front of him turns around and says can we please do something about him because he woke her up. She says she has 3 kids under 3 herself so she can relate but she thinks he was being ridiculous. She then asks can we take him for a walk or something, to which I replied no because the seatbelt sign was on for turbulence… she also accused him of kicking her seat the entire flight which is literally impossible because he was sleeping for the first 2 hours.

Like I’m sorry, you cannot reasonably tell me you have never experienced a time when your toddler didn’t listen to you. Not to mention, when you have limited options to redirect them when they’ve been cooped up on an airplane for over 3 hours. Her tone was also super rude and judgmental - like her kids are never misbehaved and are perfect angels. Someone please tell me if I’m in the wrong here.

Editing to add we also had our 6 month old baby with use who actually did proceed to scream for the next hour of the flight as we were descending/landing.

I have a 15 month old who I didn’t want to send to daycare before 18 months (personal choice) but we got a spot and my husband basically pushed me to. My husband kept saying now he wouldn’t touch our son since he goes to the daycare and basically the onus was on me to look after him after daycare and let my husband focus on work. I said ok. Before daycare my husband would take care of my son from 6:30-7:30 am in the morning while i worked out and 4:30-6:00 pm in the evening. Day 3 of daycare and my son came down with fever and ear infection. We got the same flu in a couple of days after that. My son still has fever even though he is on antibiotics and i have been getting up everyday during midnight or early mornings (1am/4am) to check in on my son’s fever (he has it, I administer advil to my son) while my husband is snoring and doesn’t care. My son is not eating at all, he just accepts a few sips of puree pouches which again doesn’t bother my husband. Whenever i say anything about my husband’s lack of empathy/concern he says i have work, meetings, i’m busy. This morning i checked my son’s temperature, it’s day 7 and he is still running fever, it was time to give him his antibiotics, he had barely had anything to eat (i managed to get a few sips of puree in him in like an hour), i went to my husband who works from home and said i need help giving him antibiotics, he has fever i need to give him advil. I waited 20 minutes. He didn’t come. I gave both myself, it was a struggle to hold my son down to push 2 syringes full of medication down his throat.
I broke down. All my husband had to say was i was in a meeting, i am busy.
To all the fathers, is this normal?