u/No-Neighborhood-7335

My girl will be 2 years old in October - I haven't decided between a ghost or an astronaut, LOL. What are yours?

3 months ago I posted about my daughter's Labial Adhesion and the traumatic experience she had at the hospital. For reference: https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/rESKKLJezj

I wanted to give an update. The incident happened on May 2nd. I filed a complaint with the hospital and with the Texas Board of Nursing (it was an NP that did the procedure) on May 7th. When I spoke to the Texas Board of Nursing over the phone, I gave a very detailed statement. The person taking my complaint asked a lot of questions and took very detailed notes. Then they sent me a link to their portal so I could provide a written statement.

Today, almost 3 months later, I get a letter from the Texas Board of Nursing saying that my complaint is being investigated and an investigator is asking me for a hand written statement and to have it notarized and sent back within 15 days of receipt.

I'm glad it's being investigated, but I am really disappointed that it has taken this long and that I have to give another statement. Like why? I've given 2 already. Did they not read them? I'm sure there is a recording of the phone call. Do they not listen? It's just sad to know how incompetent the systems we trust actually are.

Anyway, don't know why I'm posting this, other than I'm just upset and needed to vent I guess. My daughter is fine. She is healthy and thriving. I'm going to sit down and write my statement now!

Oh and I never heard anything from the hospital.

*sigh*.... I wasn't prepared. I am the worst mother.

"Want melon" may be her last words before she starves to death.

If there was an SPCA commercial showing her reaction to running out of watermelon, I'd have an endless supply of watermelon donations.

I am going to the grocery store tomorrow morning. I really hope she makes it.

I need ideas, please!

Maybe it's not OCD...but it's something. My husband has always had some weird quirks, but they were minor enough to work around. Now that we have a daughter, they're getting to the point where he needs help. It's starting to interfere with our marriage and is making us both on edge around each other.

He is micromanaging everything that my daughter touches - including me... For example, he doesn't want her to stick anything in her mouth, including her hands. He wants me to boil her toothbrush everyday. (She's a 21 month old, very healthy toddler. She's never been sick) He doesn't want her to wear sunscreen anymore, even after I bought only mineral (blue lizard) sunscreen (this is not acceptable, we live in Texas. It's hot and sunny all the time). If I've been cleaning the house or cooking, he wants me to change my shirt before I pick her up (I may have to pick her up many times WHILE doing these things). He doesn't want her to walk barefoot in the yard. He doesn't want me to hold her hand because she could fall and pop her shoulder out of place or break her arm or her wrist...

These are only a FEW examples. He has many more regarding just me in general (like the way I load the dishwasher, the way I cook food, etc.)

Most of these things he actually contradicts and flip flops based on HIS needs at the time. For example, he comes home from work where he has been with the public and hot and sweaty and he has no problem picking her up and carrying her. It's become extremely frustrating.

This morning I tried to bring it up to him and he got very upset and defensive. He said that if I loved him, I would do the things he's asking because they make him feel better and he also lectures me on why he is right. He will even send me articles that he finds. I just end up giving up because I don't know what to say - I end up feeling defeated, but I know he is wrong.

But this just can't go on. It's not healthy for my daughter. But he thinks he IS helping. He currently takes Wellbutrin for depression but I don't think it helps these issues.

If you have experience with this, can you please help me talk to him?

Editing to add that he is unaware he has this illness. He has never been diagnosed for it and he thinks he is right. I've been blunt with him many times. It only makes it worse. How does a person typically become diagnosed and seek treatment for this?

Forgive my ignorance please! The scout looks more comfortable and easier to use. I have a 21 month old toddler. I would use it for back carrying. However, the Onbuhimo says they sit up higher and look over your shoulders, which would be ideal for my toddler. But would she still sit high up in the scout?

We have been using a ring sling until now but I'm looking for something to wear on my back and free up my arms.

Toddler, 27lbs, 33.5" tall, 22 months. I've used a ring sling up until now, but I'd like to carry her on my back.

What would you recommend?

I found a lump in my breast. I scheduled a doctor's appointment immediately, but I know he'll refer me to get a mammogram. I'm still breastfeeding my 21 month old.

I'm hoping we can skip the mammogram and go straight to the ultrasound - just wondering if anyone has experienced this before.

Editing to add - thank you for all the responses! I have dense, fibrous breast tissue, so I've had to get mammograms before and always followed by an ultrasound because my breast tissue is too dense for them to see anything with the mammogram. I wish they would just skip the mammogram because they're very painful for me. The last time I almost passed out. That was in December of 2023.

My lump is on my left breast up towards my armpit. It feels like tiny bits of gravel surrounding a jagged rock. It's not painful. My mom and both my aunts had breast cancer so I'm really trying not to freak out! They all survived!

We are flying United and they offer checking the carseat at the gate so we don't have to lug it through the airport. We are flying out of Houston, so it's a huge airport and not ideal to carry.

I plan for my toddler to sit in my lap. So we don't need it on the plane, but it's a Graco Turn2me. I'm worried about it getting damaged.

If you've experienced this situation, how does the process work? Do they handle them gently? Does it still go in the cargo hold at the front of the plane? Thanks!

I was traumatized by swimming lessons as a child. I still talk about it to my mom and I'm 43 years old now. All I could really remember is being so afraid, water up nose constantly, constantly coughing up water and just being miserable even though I loved "swimming".

My baby is 20 months and I've been looking around for swimming lessons. To my surprise, the lady that gave me swimming lessons is STILL giving lessons and is very popular in my area. I watched her videos on her FB page and I'm disturbed. She tosses a 2 year old in the water from an awkward angle, head first (to simulate the child falling in on accident) The child scrambles to get on her back and flounders until she bumps her head on the side of the pool and grabs on. The instructor does not talk to her at all or help her in any way and the whole time the child is screaming and crying for their mother. This was heartbreaking to watch, but also extremely triggering for me because it made me remember exactly what I went through and how I felt. My feeling were definitely validated by watching it.

The point of the video is that the instructor is teaching the child how to save her life from drowning. But she's only 2! This lady missed her calling in life as a drill sergeant. She would have made a great one.

I started asking other parents in my area and it seems this is normal for swimming lessons??? Seems most instructors use this method. This method was not helpful to me as a child. I cried so much that my mother eventually stopped making me go. I would become non responsive in the lessons and too petrified to move. This method only increased my fear of water and I never learned to properly swim.

What have your experiences with swimming lessons been? Is there a gentle approach to this?

Editing to add that I live in SE Texas.

Editing again to say thank you for all the responses, validation and educating me on the "survival swim" vs traditional lessons. I'm definitely looking for traditional style. There are no YMCAs in my area, but now I know what to ask for when I call around for instructors.

I'd like to start back carrying my toddler but I'm clueless. I've been successfully using my ring sling with her since she was 6 months old. But I think back carrying would be a better option for us now.

I'd like something that is easy to get on without much hassle. She's 27lbs and almost 34" tall. Any suggestions for brands would be really appreciated. I live in Texas so it's super hot!

My husband and I have been married for 17 years. We had a very active sex life. I had a very high libido (higher than his) and always felt a lot of sexual energy. We are both 43 years old.

​

I had/have endometriosis which caused years of fertility issues. Tried IVF when I was 41 and my body did not respond to the fertility stimulation meds. My IVF doctor told me I was likely going through early menopause and that I was not a candidate for IVF. 4 months later, I conceived naturally with my husband and our baby girl is now 20 months old.

​

Up until the point I found out I was pregnant, I was hyper sexual. I desired sex with my husband all the time. I had always been hyper sexual, but it only got stronger as I entered my 40s. Then I was like super hyper sexual. The moment I found out I was pregnant, it stopped. First, I felt like the pregnancy was so sacred, that I didn't want to do anything to disturb my little bean. Then, I got really big and just felt miserable all the time. We had sex maybe 3 times my entire pregnancy.

​

After my perfect baby was born, I became completely swept up into motherhood. The love I have for my daughter is not comparable to any other love I've ever felt. I love her so much, I cannot describe it.

​

My sex drive has diminished entirely. And I feel like sex is just something foreign to me altogether. Like the thought of it feels icky. I know it's not unusual for new moms to feel this way, but I'm starting to think it's something stronger and I'm wondering if this normal for women who are in the later years of peri or have gone through menopause.

​

My husband is great. He does not pressure me, but he does tell me that whenever I'm ready, he's definitely ready. We maybe have sex once a month and I do not enjoy it. I just don't feel any type of romantic attraction to him or anyone. For example, I've tried masturbating and when I try to fantasize about things to turn myself on - it's like it turns me off. Like all romantic feelings and sexual desires are just gone.

​

I don't really have a desire to kiss my husband anymore either. I feel horrible saying these things out loud. I love him. He's an incredible partner and an amazing father. I admire how much he loves our daughter. He's my partner in this life, I choose him. But I don't want to have sex anymore. I want to watch movies with him, go for walks, explore the world, etc...but just not sex...

​

I am still breastfeeding our daughter and people have said that this is why I have no sex drive. But I'm 43, I'll be 44 in a few months. My cycles are about 22 days now. I had my hormones checked recently, and everything came back normal. My doctor actually said I was not in perimenopause, but I think that's hard to diagnose off of just blood.

​

Those of you who have lost their sex drive... How do you feel about your partner? Is this normal?

I feel like this is the biggest rip off. We are building a house. It's my dream home and forever home. I want things to look nice but more importantly, I want them to be good quality.

​

Everywhere I've gone to look for faucets has made me so disappointed! Why are they all plastic? I'm talking about the higher end - Kohler, Brizo, Delta, etc. The only ones that seem of good quality are Newport Brass which are $2k - $5k just for the faucet.

​

We live in a tract home now. When we moved in 6 years ago, I replaced the sink faucet with a more "functional one". It was $100 on Amazon and it's solid brass & stainless steel. The brand is Appaso. It is heavy and still works great, looks brand new. It's very commercial, industrial looking which isn't the look I'm going for in my new home and they don't seem to carry a faucet with the style I want.

​

So I don't get it. Are we just paying for fashion? I can't justify paying $2,000 just because it's pretty and has good quality. I really just needed to rant, but any advice would be appreciated!

Ever day when I was pregnant, I dreamed about the golden hour. I longed for it. I watched so many videos of other mothers experiences and so many said they couldn't remember it. I really wanted to remember.

I had a scheduled c-section because my baby was breech, nothing traumatic, but I do not remember the golden hour at all. I also don't remember my baby latching for the first time. I hardly remember being in the hospital or the first 5 days.

I don't think it's uncommon to forget it, there's such a whirlwind of chaos, emotions and hormones. But I wish I could remember. Do you remember?

My parents and aunts are considering purchasing the Costco playset for my daughter's 2nd birthday. But we are curious how much they actually get used, so I thought I'd ask the experts here!

The playset has slides, a tower, a rock climbing wall and swings. When we go to the park, my daughter enjoys them, but she also enjoys chasing squirrels and picking flowers.

I'd always be supervising her and playing with her. I'm just wondering if it's something they continue to play with?

She is 19 months. I planned to start weaning after her 2nd birthday. I was hoping we could do it gently and gradually, but she is nursing so frequently that I'm not sure how we will ever stop.

I've always nursed her on demand, but her demand has become too frequent. She wants to nurse anytime she sees me sit down, even if it's at the table for dinner. She will eat her food, then want in my lap to nurse while I'm still eating. She wants to nurse anytime she is bored, even if she is playing independently, she will come over and lift up my shirt, nurse a few minutes and then go play again. It's like she plays for 5 mins, then nurses for a couple mins,then goes back to playing. She also wants to nurse anytime she is disregulated. If she gets frustrated, mad, or sad - she needs to nurse to calm herself down. It's really beneficial in some situations like when we are at the doctor or something, but not so much when she gets her toy shopping cart stuck behind the kitchen table. And for example, in those situations, if I try to help her with the shopping cart, she just gets more angry. So I'm not sure if her relationship with nursing is still beneficial?? Or is she using it as a coping mechanism when she needs to learn how to problem solve?? If this is age appropriate and normal and beneficial for me to keep nursing through these types of scenarios, then I want to keep doing it, but I'm just not sure what the right thing to do is.

She has only started this in the past month - she used to only nurse for sleep, and a little comfort.

I'd like to continue to nurse for sleep, and scary situations like the doctor, but I don't know how to set healthy boundaries.

I've tried bandaids over my nipples, or wearing a sports bra and telling her "Mama's boobies are sleeping now" and I've tried to talk to her about boobies are for when you're sleepy. None of that worked. She had terrible tantrums, bit me, hit me, hit her head against the wall and floor, throwing things, etc.

I'm wondering if weaning is this terrible for them? I'm open to any suggestions or books! Thank you!

My daughter is 19 months old. I'm a SAHM, and she follows me to the bathroom and I always tell her I'm "pee peeing in the potty" Now she asks to pee pee in the potty, but when I put her on the potty she just smiles like she's proud of herself but she doesn't pee.

When we are playing with her water toys in the backyard and I just have her in a bathing suit, she always tells me when she pees, as she's peeing. She'll say "oh! Pee pee"

Do I need to continue to put her on the potty every time she asks? Any other tips?

Female, born October 10, 2024 (18 months), 27 lbs, 33 inches tall.

Several people have suggested I post this here.

In summary: I took my daughter to the ER at the children's Hospital, because she had been running a high fever for 48 hours without any other symptoms. The doctor examined her and wanted to do a urine test to check for a UTI. They discover that she had a labial adhesion that was blocking her urethra and they manually opened it by ripping it apart. She was NOT offered anesthesia for this or any pain management. Her labia was bleeding afterwards and I had to clean up the blood. My daughter is traumatized, and I am traumatized. The nurses restrained her and held her legs splayed open. My daughter was begging saying "no, no" and "mama help" She keeps crying when she pees now and cries when I change her diaper. I'm wondering if she should have been offered as sedative like Versed or if there was another way to collect the urine? She did not have a UTI.

Here is my original post that I posted on r/toddlers:

Labial Adhesion?

Has anyone had experience with this? Specifically if the doctor had to tear it open?

The doctor needed to check for a UTI, but discovered she has a labial adhesion that was covering the hole for her urethra. I've never heard of this, but I now feel horrible for my daughter.

The doctor had to "open" it to access her urethra for the catheter to get the urine sample. My daughter already doesn't handle the doctor well. She screams the moment we get in there. This was awful. They had to restrain her and I was kissing and holding her head while she cried saying "Mama, help" and "Mama, all done" because she wanted them to stop.

It bled afterwards and now she is screaming every time she pees and saying "mama, help" again. I asked them how long it would hurt her and they said "it heals quickly". This was before I had witnessed her pee and screaming.

It is the worst feeling watching your child beg for your help and be in pain. My stomach has just been in knots ever since.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this and I'm just wondering how long she will be in pain? She is taking Motrin and Tylenol for her fever but she is still in pain. They told me to put petroleum jelly on it. I just want to help her and I feel helpless.

Editing another update: I just spoke to my cousin, who is a CRNA (basically an anesthesiologist) and she told me they absolutely should have given her Versed for anesthesia. So I will be proceeding with filing a complaint in the least.

I wanted to give an update on my daughter because I received so much kind support. I also want to add a TW because I want to speak graphically about her procedure and SA.

My daughter is doing much better. She had stopped crying when she peed by the next morning, so I'm glad that the pain resolved very quickly. Her fever has also finally gone and she's been fever free for 8 hours now with no medication. It is still a mystery why she had such a high fever for almost 5 days. She was negative for every test, including the UTI.

The one silver lining to this is that I'm realizing the adhesion must have been preventing her from being able to fully empty her bladder, because she always had a wet diaper. Even right after a diaper change, 10 mins later she'd have a blue line, but her diaper would hardly be wet. Now that the adhesion has been separated, I've noticed an immediate difference in her wet diapers. She seems to have a bigger pee and then her diaper stays dry for a few hours. So I guess this is good because it probably would have caused problems when we start potty training soon.

The bad part is she is definitely a little traumatized from the procedure. Diaper changes were never a problem before. Now, she clamps her legs together and says "mama, hold me" or she gets angry and screams "No! No!" And kicks at me. I'm trying to reassure her that nothing bad is going to happen and it's just me changing her diaper.

But man, I am still traumatized. I think I'm having a hard time not comparing it to sexual assault. It was 100% NOT sexual assault, but the mechanics of it were similar. 2 nurses were holding her legs splayed open while the doctor was spreading her labia and essentially ripping it apart. I know this is graphic, but I really need to process it by talking about it. When the doctor showed me and her labia was bleeding... Ugh... It's just really hard. It's hard not to think about the all poor girls that were sexually tortured that we've been hearing about recently. The way my daughter was begging me to help her, and she was screaming "NO!" and fighting them... I'm just having a really hard time with it. My mom was with me and she was a labor and delivery nurse and a post partum nurse for almost 40 years and she is even having a hard time processing it.

I'm sorry for going so dark and graphic, I hope I'm not triggering anyone. My daughter is ok, she is loved and has a great family and all the things a little girl needs. She is sleeping beside me right now. Thanks for reading and I hope I didn't ruin anyone's day!

This was my original post:

Labial Adhesion?

Has anyone had experience with this? Specifically if the doctor had to tear it open?

The doctor needed to check for a UTI, but discovered she has a labial adhesion that was covering the hole for her urethra. I've never heard of this, but I now feel horrible for my daughter.

The doctor had to "open" it to access her urethra for the catheter to get the urine sample. My daughter already doesn't handle the doctor well. She screams the moment we get in there. This was awful. They had to restrain her and I was kissing and holding her head while she cried saying "Mama, help" and "Mama, all done" because she wanted them to stop.

It bled afterwards and now she is screaming every time she pees and saying "mama, help" again. I asked them how long it would hurt her and they said "it heals quickly". This was before I had witnessed her pee and screaming.

It is the worst feeling watching your child beg for your help and be in pain. My stomach has just been in knots ever since.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this and I'm just wondering how long she will be in pain? She is taking Motrin and Tylenol for her fever but she is still in pain. They told me to put petroleum jelly on it. I just want to help her and I feel helpless.