u/No-Neighborhood-7335

She is 19 months. I planned to start weaning after her 2nd birthday. I was hoping we could do it gently and gradually, but she is nursing so frequently that I'm not sure how we will ever stop.

I've always nursed her on demand, but her demand has become too frequent. She wants to nurse anytime she sees me sit down, even if it's at the table for dinner. She will eat her food, then want in my lap to nurse while I'm still eating. She wants to nurse anytime she is bored, even if she is playing independently, she will come over and lift up my shirt, nurse a few minutes and then go play again. It's like she plays for 5 mins, then nurses for a couple mins,then goes back to playing. She also wants to nurse anytime she is disregulated. If she gets frustrated, mad, or sad - she needs to nurse to calm herself down. It's really beneficial in some situations like when we are at the doctor or something, but not so much when she gets her toy shopping cart stuck behind the kitchen table. And for example, in those situations, if I try to help her with the shopping cart, she just gets more angry. So I'm not sure if her relationship with nursing is still beneficial?? Or is she using it as a coping mechanism when she needs to learn how to problem solve?? If this is age appropriate and normal and beneficial for me to keep nursing through these types of scenarios, then I want to keep doing it, but I'm just not sure what the right thing to do is.

She has only started this in the past month - she used to only nurse for sleep, and a little comfort.

I'd like to continue to nurse for sleep, and scary situations like the doctor, but I don't know how to set healthy boundaries.

I've tried bandaids over my nipples, or wearing a sports bra and telling her "Mama's boobies are sleeping now" and I've tried to talk to her about boobies are for when you're sleepy. None of that worked. She had terrible tantrums, bit me, hit me, hit her head against the wall and floor, throwing things, etc.

I'm wondering if weaning is this terrible for them? I'm open to any suggestions or books! Thank you!

My daughter is 19 months old. I'm a SAHM, and she follows me to the bathroom and I always tell her I'm "pee peeing in the potty" Now she asks to pee pee in the potty, but when I put her on the potty she just smiles like she's proud of herself but she doesn't pee.

When we are playing with her water toys in the backyard and I just have her in a bathing suit, she always tells me when she pees, as she's peeing. She'll say "oh! Pee pee"

Do I need to continue to put her on the potty every time she asks? Any other tips?

Female, born October 10, 2024 (18 months), 27 lbs, 33 inches tall.

Several people have suggested I post this here.

In summary: I took my daughter to the ER at the children's Hospital, because she had been running a high fever for 48 hours without any other symptoms. The doctor examined her and wanted to do a urine test to check for a UTI. They discover that she had a labial adhesion that was blocking her urethra and they manually opened it by ripping it apart. She was NOT offered anesthesia for this or any pain management. Her labia was bleeding afterwards and I had to clean up the blood. My daughter is traumatized, and I am traumatized. The nurses restrained her and held her legs splayed open. My daughter was begging saying "no, no" and "mama help" She keeps crying when she pees now and cries when I change her diaper. I'm wondering if she should have been offered as sedative like Versed or if there was another way to collect the urine? She did not have a UTI.

Here is my original post that I posted on r/toddlers:

Labial Adhesion?

Has anyone had experience with this? Specifically if the doctor had to tear it open?

The doctor needed to check for a UTI, but discovered she has a labial adhesion that was covering the hole for her urethra. I've never heard of this, but I now feel horrible for my daughter.

The doctor had to "open" it to access her urethra for the catheter to get the urine sample. My daughter already doesn't handle the doctor well. She screams the moment we get in there. This was awful. They had to restrain her and I was kissing and holding her head while she cried saying "Mama, help" and "Mama, all done" because she wanted them to stop.

It bled afterwards and now she is screaming every time she pees and saying "mama, help" again. I asked them how long it would hurt her and they said "it heals quickly". This was before I had witnessed her pee and screaming.

It is the worst feeling watching your child beg for your help and be in pain. My stomach has just been in knots ever since.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this and I'm just wondering how long she will be in pain? She is taking Motrin and Tylenol for her fever but she is still in pain. They told me to put petroleum jelly on it. I just want to help her and I feel helpless.

Editing another update: I just spoke to my cousin, who is a CRNA (basically an anesthesiologist) and she told me they absolutely should have given her Versed for anesthesia. So I will be proceeding with filing a complaint in the least.

I wanted to give an update on my daughter because I received so much kind support. I also want to add a TW because I want to speak graphically about her procedure and SA.

My daughter is doing much better. She had stopped crying when she peed by the next morning, so I'm glad that the pain resolved very quickly. Her fever has also finally gone and she's been fever free for 8 hours now with no medication. It is still a mystery why she had such a high fever for almost 5 days. She was negative for every test, including the UTI.

The one silver lining to this is that I'm realizing the adhesion must have been preventing her from being able to fully empty her bladder, because she always had a wet diaper. Even right after a diaper change, 10 mins later she'd have a blue line, but her diaper would hardly be wet. Now that the adhesion has been separated, I've noticed an immediate difference in her wet diapers. She seems to have a bigger pee and then her diaper stays dry for a few hours. So I guess this is good because it probably would have caused problems when we start potty training soon.

The bad part is she is definitely a little traumatized from the procedure. Diaper changes were never a problem before. Now, she clamps her legs together and says "mama, hold me" or she gets angry and screams "No! No!" And kicks at me. I'm trying to reassure her that nothing bad is going to happen and it's just me changing her diaper.

But man, I am still traumatized. I think I'm having a hard time not comparing it to sexual assault. It was 100% NOT sexual assault, but the mechanics of it were similar. 2 nurses were holding her legs splayed open while the doctor was spreading her labia and essentially ripping it apart. I know this is graphic, but I really need to process it by talking about it. When the doctor showed me and her labia was bleeding... Ugh... It's just really hard. It's hard not to think about the all poor girls that were sexually tortured that we've been hearing about recently. The way my daughter was begging me to help her, and she was screaming "NO!" and fighting them... I'm just having a really hard time with it. My mom was with me and she was a labor and delivery nurse and a post partum nurse for almost 40 years and she is even having a hard time processing it.

I'm sorry for going so dark and graphic, I hope I'm not triggering anyone. My daughter is ok, she is loved and has a great family and all the things a little girl needs. She is sleeping beside me right now. Thanks for reading and I hope I didn't ruin anyone's day!

This was my original post:

Labial Adhesion?

Has anyone had experience with this? Specifically if the doctor had to tear it open?

The doctor needed to check for a UTI, but discovered she has a labial adhesion that was covering the hole for her urethra. I've never heard of this, but I now feel horrible for my daughter.

The doctor had to "open" it to access her urethra for the catheter to get the urine sample. My daughter already doesn't handle the doctor well. She screams the moment we get in there. This was awful. They had to restrain her and I was kissing and holding her head while she cried saying "Mama, help" and "Mama, all done" because she wanted them to stop.

It bled afterwards and now she is screaming every time she pees and saying "mama, help" again. I asked them how long it would hurt her and they said "it heals quickly". This was before I had witnessed her pee and screaming.

It is the worst feeling watching your child beg for your help and be in pain. My stomach has just been in knots ever since.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this and I'm just wondering how long she will be in pain? She is taking Motrin and Tylenol for her fever but she is still in pain. They told me to put petroleum jelly on it. I just want to help her and I feel helpless.

Has anyone had experience with this? Specifically if the doctor had to tear it open?

The doctor needed to check for a UTI, but discovered she has a labial adhesion that was covering the hole for her urethra. I've never heard of this, but I now feel horrible for my daughter.

The doctor had to "open" it to access her urethra for the catheter to get the urine sample. My daughter already doesn't handle the doctor well. She screams the moment we get in there. This was awful. They had to restrain her and I was kissing and holding her head while she cried saying "Mama, help" and "Mama, all done" because she wanted them to stop.

It bled afterwards and now she is screaming every time she pees and saying "mama, help" again. I asked them how long it would hurt her and they said "it heals quickly". This was before I had witnessed her pee and screaming.

It is the worst feeling watching your child beg for your help and be in pain. My stomach has just been in knots ever since.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this and I'm just wondering how long she will be in pain? She is taking Motrin and Tylenol for her fever but she is still in pain. They told me to put petroleum jelly on it. I just want to help her and I feel helpless.

She's 18 months, she is showing NO symptoms of anything. We noticed she was hot at bedtime last night. She had a fever of 101. I gave her Tylenol at 1am because it went up to 103.5. Her fever broke and then she stayed up chatting ALLLL night long till 6am. She is asleep now, but I just took her temp and it's 100.3. Still showing no symptoms. Do I take her to the doctor today? Is it normal for symptoms to show up later?

Sorry if these are dumb questions, but it's my only baby. She is also still breastfeeding so I've been nursing her more.

We are building a house. We love the look of Taj Mahal, but I'm worried that it is already so over saturated that I will hate it in 2 years. I've visited several stone yards and I like it more than anything else.

Do you think Taj Mahal is timeless?

When did you stop using a ring sling to carry your toddler? My toddler is 18 months, 27lbs and 33 inches tall. But we are still loving the ring sling! In fact, I think I use it more now than ever.

I'm just curious when other people stopped? I find it very useful, but I can only carry her about an hour in it now. I have a double linen Sakura Bloom. I'm considering learning to back carry for more comfort also.