u/AnxiousBunnyRabbit

My husband wants to go visit our home country for 1 month and bring our 2 year old toddler along with him. I would stay here and continue working. He has a side business there that he wants to spend a little time attending to and visit family. He would have my MIL at his disposal to help at any given time, and I know she would gladly do it because she doesn't see our son often and she's taken care of him when we've visited before.

My issues with this though are the following,

1. We just enrolled him in daycare to start in September. We're enrolling him because we feel like being around other children will be beneficial to him and it gets him out the house. Currently my parents watch him while we work. We can take a month hiatus from daycare, we'd just have to pay half of the monthly tuition to hold his spot.

2. My biggest concern is that our son was a 24 weeker preemie. We saw his development and behavioral specialist last week and she suggested 4 months of intense therapy. He's currently getting behavioral therapy and speech therapy 1x a week each through early intervention, and she's suggested adding 1x a week of speech therapy outpatient at the therapy center and 1x a week of OT also at the therapy center. There's some concern of autism, but he's also shown improvement from our last appointment a few months so she wants to give him more time with therapy and give it until he's 2 years old corrected age, and then reevaluate about doing an autism evaluation since it's still a little difficult to say whether some of the things we're seeing are just delays due to prematurity or may be flags for autism.

I would love the break but I feel like this is not the right time to do something like this specifically because of point #2, but my husband thinks otherwise.

What would you do?

ETA: My husband on average does 2 trips a year and we typically accompany him on 1. Usually the trips with us are 1-2 weeks, not an entire month.

I've (34F) recently been presented with an opportunity that's now making me reevaluate my career and my future. I have the interview coming up in a few days and obviously no saying how it will go but I do have a former coworker who is working there and loves the company and would be excited for me to take the opportunity, if offered, and to work together again.

I live in north NJ and currently making $128k a year in a senior position. I'm well aware from former colleagues who've left for other companies for similar or better positions that I could be making more elsewhere and it's not necessarily a secret in the industry that my company tends to pay lower than everyone else, but I love my boss who is a mom of 3 herself, and my team.

This opportunity that I've been presented comes with a salary that would be $37k-$47k higher than my current salary, if I'm given an offer, and there'd still be room for growth. The only downside is that they are 4 days a week in office vs 3 at my current job. Commute is about the same at 25-40 mins depending on the day and traffic.

The reason I'm now in deep thought about everything is the fact that my husband works a blue collar job and due to some learning disabilities I don't expect him to ever have any high paying job. He currently makes about 30-35% of our total income a month depending on whether or not things are slow with his job. We have a 2 year old who's currently watched by my parents while we work but we are currently on a wait-list to enroll him in daycare part-time as he's very active and we all think he would benefit from an environment with a little more structure. We would also like to have 1 more child and we're planning to start trying in the near future.

This opportunity, if I'm given an offer, would give so much more breathing room but I'm not sure about the 4 days in office. Either way I'm now curious and starting to look around at other jobs. The other issue is that majority of the companies in my industry are located in NYC. You can easily find hybrid positions with 3 days in office, but it would be like a 1-1.5 hr commute for me each way.

TL,DR: Breadwinner for my family looking for advice from other working moms who may have been in a similar position of reevaluating their career and options. I'm conflicted about staying within my current position with lower than industry pay knowing that I have a great boss, some flexibility, reasonable commute, and want to have another baby in the near future, or venturing into finding a similar or better role at another company with 30%+ higher pay, possibility of a little less flexibility, and possibility of a longer commute.