Should I leave my husband?
My husband and I met on a dating app and got married to each other within a year of meeting each other. I loved him and I thought he loved me too. But things started seeming a bit off on our honeymoon. He didn’t initiate physical intimacy at all during the entire time and we ended up not having sex on our honeymoon. I brought it up with him and he said that we were both tired from the wedding and roaming around during the honeymoon. Which seemed fair at the time.
Even after our honeymoon, he didn’t initiate sex and I was confused and basically dying inside because I was feeling something was wrong. We are Indians and live with his family and we used to be sitting in the living room till 1 am in the night and he wouldn’t show any kind of affection. I brought it up time and again and it would result in bad fights.
A few months passed by and I noticed a pattern that my husband would spend time scrolling on his phone late at night. Getting suspicious, I checked his phone and discovered that he had a hidden folder with explicit/ sexy photos of women (including friends), screenshots of Hinge and photos from his past Hinge relationships. I confronted him and we had a huge row. I also discovered that he was using dating apps after we started dating and also after our marriage. I was considering divorce/ separation but he apologised profusely and so we decided to move on.
But time and again, I keep finding some or the other proof that he’s looking at photos of other women, secret Instagram accounts where he looks at photos of other women, etc.
Meanwhile our sex life is a shit show and he shows little affection. He is back to his same old patterns of scrolling till wee hours and now that he knows I check his phone, he makes sure he deletes stuff.
I do love my husband but I can sense that something is off. I feel like I cannot trust him at all. But getting separated/ divorced seems so difficult because of various reasons. It has really affected my health and confidence.
What should I do?
TLDR: Have been finding proofs that husband is looking at photos of other women and used dating apps after our marriage. There’s also lack of physical intimacy in our relationship. What should I do?