seeking advice and rant about my introspection lately
I am a 32F single woman living in United States.
I came to US for my masters like 12 years back.
Was in this arranged marriage via like Telugu matrimony situation from past 4-5 years, nothing clicked. I am kinda trying to look back and see what’s taking me so much time while others look like they are in and out of this process.
In most cases, I genuinely didn’t find the guys capable of holding up a conversation, other than basic stuff. No sense of getting to know the person, just a checklist to make decision, which is not the way I operate. I could be wrong in expecting it from that platform. Also, I have never been in love love. May be that could be making it hard for me to make a decision. Anybody resonate to this?
Anybody who went through this process, did you have a framework to make the decision?
Also, am looking back and trying to realize how did the last twelve years go by. I have friends, I did travel a bit. But life looks very mediocre lately. Basic job with no growth, nothing significant happening in life, no love life, not much to look forward to.
I was always in the mindset that it happens when it happens with pretty much everything. Somehow, my whole perspective around it changed to nothing just happens, you must make it happen and somehow am not. If so many departments in life are in a mediocre stage, you yourself must be the problem, not the situations around. I know there are bigger problems in life and I must count my blessings, but it’s hard not to look at in way that there is no progress in life and it has been pretty stagnant.
I don’t know what am asking for, but any thoughts or advice around this?