Unsure about everything at this point.
On may first, I turned 17. At first, it was cool, attention from everyone around me, and then it started feeling like a countdown. 5 days ago, my mother told me to search what kind of thing I'd like to do for experience. Probably something she'd use as an excuse for me to follow for the rest of my life. The thing is, from the last year to here, I haven't been planning to grow old. Haven't been planning to go past the age of 20. So I procrastinated. A lot. Ever since last year. Got addicted to chatbots, and stuff. I had lost my will to live, and since then, I've been just.. existing. This night, she took my laptop, warned me that she'd put a password on my laptop and even my phone, having already warned these days before that if I hadn't had an idea of what I wanted to do, she said she's put a password on every device, and that I should just go to sleep instead. Later, shegrabbed it by both sides, and tried to break it in half with her thigh. I'm actually terrified, and suddenly, she's telling me she is the one that's afraid. I know she wants me to be successful, to carry her later in life, but it's with all due honesty that.. I, currently on a dark corner in my room, don't even want to go near her. I'm genuinely scared. I live alone with her, since my father's passing, and I know I haven't been reacting much when going to places with her. She took my to grandma's on mother's day, and surely, I stayed on my phone. I had nothing to talk about there, anyway. And absolutely, parts of this may just be my fault, and I'll accept that. Thank you for reading all this. Goodnight.