Like most guys, I’m pretty much obsessed with getting head. Early on in my relationship with my now fiancé I made that pretty obvious. I even told her things like “you could probably convince me to do just about anything with a BJ” in hopes it would lead to more of them. And one time she even used that to her advantage.
Thing is, I know she doesn’t necessarily love doing it and 99.9% of the time it’s just a form of foreplay and never until I finish. We even had a “disagreement” early on because she was calling going down on me for a few minutes before sex “blowjobs” and to me I’ve only ever known/thought of BJs as being to the finish. Now while she can’t go super deep or take the load in her mouth (I’d love both but have never asked her to after finding out she couldn’t) she is still very good and gets me there pretty quickly.
My only real complaint is the frequency. I’d say, on average, I get mouth action once every few weeks as foreplay, and literally only once a year to the finish and that’s because I asked for it for my bday lol. We even bought some BJ candies (her idea) that are supposed to make things better for both of us, but it’s been two months and we still haven’t used them.
I go down on her pretty frequently (and even eat her ass because I love it) so I know it isn’t a reciprocation thing. I’ve tried asking her about it but have never really gotten a straight answer. Also asked her if I should just ask when I want one but she didn’t really like idea that either. I’ve pretty much convinced myself that she doesn’t want to go until I finish because then that means sex isn’t going to happen and she has a pretty high drive. Even though I have told her that I would still get her off by other means.
So my primary question would be is there anything else I can try or say to get her to a place where she would be willing to do this a little more often? To clarify, I’m mainly talking about blowing me until I finish because that’s what I want the most.
To add to that question, would it be a bad idea to basically ask her how she would feel about me buying a “BJ toy” to occasionally use on myself? We’ve loosely talked about buying her a new toy that while we would probably use it together, I know she would use it on herself. I know this because she has a toy that she’s had since before we met that she uses from time to time, but doesn’t tell me and I’m not sure if she’s aware I even know.
Any and all advice is much appreciated!