r/sexadvise

(M18) me and my gf(18) have been getting more sexual the past few months, this is my first relationship and she's never vocal about what she wants so I always have to initiate, all the stuff she has told me and I've tried she's liked, more rough stuff but we haven't had sex yet. I'm a virgin but I'm good with my hands. she has had sexual relationships in the past but rarely even touches my dick. idk, I always feel disgusting being rough or initiating, I'm honestly a more gentle person outside of sports. I'm thinking it's the fact that she's just not very physically attracted to me, I'm overweight and not good looking, my saving grace is my height, muscles, and humor. I don't even know what I like sexually because I always do what she wants and most of the time get blue balled. I'm honestly just lost on everything, any advice or opinions are appreciated

I want to find cute, silly, unique, pretty, aesthetic toys

- mini wand vibrator

- dildo

- suction toys

- vibrators

- open to suggestions of new toys

length - 7 inches to 9 inches

width - average?

weight - average?

material - silicon, glass, open to suggestions (do NOT like tpe)

shape - realistic, fantasy (but nothing based off animal genitals) curved, or straight designs

firmness - medium

level of texture - any

level of realism - I do not want it be realistic colors or balls. veins and shape realism is fine

color - cute colors, pastels, neon, hot pink, rainbow, multicolored, gradient, swirls of colors, glow in the dark, etc

price range - $50 or under

previously tried and if why it worked or did not work for you - the glass heart dildo from bellesa is my fav cause its so pretty and I hate ugly toys absolute turn off I just cant do, i loves the look of the raspberry, peach and strawberry air pulse toy but hate the lemon one as its smooth and not textured like a real lemon and my absolute fav is Nea Phantasmagoric : Rainbow Fade Tentacle Dildo | Fera Daemon

I'm a single guy ,28M, never been in a relationship or even really talked much to girls in life– super awkward/introverted, desi family pressures, all that usual stuff. While traveling in Southeast Asia , I ended up doing things I'm really ashamed of now.

Lost my virginity in Thailand (paid service). It wasn't that I had gone to Thailand for sex. I was exploring Thailand and had landed upon a strip club, there I had taken a liking to a stripper and then she invited me and her friend for a threesome paid sex and drunk me obliged. There, I could only have sex for 10 seconds with condom and after that blood started coming from my foreskin, so had to stop after 10 seconds and had applied cream to heal the wound. I think it was somehow due to friction between foreskin and condom. So, it was a traumatic experience for me.

Had sex once in a massage parlor in Vietnam. Like above, it was planned, was just tired and had gone to maasage parlour, and they asked for boom boom and I couldn't say no.

For over a year, on an average of twice a month, I went to various massage places in Bangalore for handjobs or body-to-body rubs(basically making out but only kissing shoulder and boobs) – no penetrations or bjs, but still paid services.

Everything was with consenting adults (as far as I could tell), I was single the whole time, no cheating on anyone. I never went looking for underage stuff or anything violent/forced. But now that I'm back in India, the guilt is eating me up – cultural shame, family values, wondering if I'm "damaged goods" or a bad person.

I have gotten std test for it and it is negative for all. Also, I have stopped this habit from quite some time.

Could this come back to bite me somehow (like if it gets out)?

More importantly, women, How would you feel if a guy you're considering for dating/marriage/arranged setup admitted this? Is it a dealbreaker forever? Does it make me seem like I objectify women, or just lonely and pathetic? Would you advise total honesty in AM setups, or bury it and move on? Has anyone dealt with similar regrets from guys in their circle?

I know that what I have done is shameful and have quit it. I also want to know whether there is some redemption for me.Also, I did ask each masseuse or stripper whether they were below 20 or trafficked , they did say no to both. Still, I know what I did is shameful and ick and disgusting and doesn't make anything right, but maybe could anyone please how can I help any victims of abuse from my side for the same?

I am truly sorry—for reducing anyone to a transaction, for any unseen burden or discomfort caused, and to every woman (affected or not) who feels disgust, anger, or disappointment because of choices like mine. You deserve respect and full humanity, not this.

TL; DR : Took handjobs for a year in India. had sex once in Thailand and once in Vietnam, all above at massage parlours. Filled with regret now, how would this impact my future chances of marriage? What can I do to redeem myself from this jungleepanaa? I have gotten std test for it and it is negative for all. Also, I have stopped this habit from quite some time.

F20 What does it mean when I start talking or going on dates with someone I’m very invested and attracted to them but as soon as I start getting to know them the more I realize how much I don’t like them as a person and struggle to see them as a romantic interest and would prefer a friendship or nothing at all. I’ve been love bombed before and I know what that’s like and would never want to make someone feel that way and I don’t tell them lies about a future or say crazy romantic things or that I want to spend all my time with them, I will genuinely believe I like a guy and want to be in a relationship with them but lose all attraction to them after getting to know them more. And no I don’t just ghost them or ignore them when I start feeling this way I usually offer a friend ship but yk guys they then just want a fwb or ghost you

Hi i (ftm20) was told by my boyfrend (23m) that i was to lose duren sex, and it made me feel bad. Is there any way to tighten down there?

my bf 27M and myself 25 F moved in together (been together 2 years) and the two nights coincidentally we did not have sex, i woke up to what i believe was him masturbating. the second i began to sit up he flips onto his side as if he is hiding something. i confronted him both times and he acted like i was crazy. i don’t like the idea of someone doing that without my consent while i am sleeping. shortly after i confronted him he ended up going to the bathroom where i assume he finished. he is strongly denying anything but i have found porn on his phone MULTIPLE times in the past and have communicated i would not like porn in our household.

the other night we had sex for 20-30 minutes and he could not finish. he excuses himself to the bathroom (would not let me come in to pee) and stays in there for a significant amount of time. i am leading to believe he has a porn/masturbation addiction and i want to bring this up. how do i bring this up? can i ask to go through his phone?

please help me navigate this

i really want my boyfriend to give me a facial but i’m scared. he’s my first and i was also his. i really like the idea of getting a facial from him but every time i give him the okay when i notice he is about to do it i instinctively pull away and stand up. this has happened a couple of times now. is there any way i can prep to get over the fear. i’m not opposed to giving but my boyfriend is the primary giver and im the receiver typically. i’ve let him cum on me a couple of times but i’m still scared of feeling slutty if it’s on my face. maybe if i understood the appeal of facials more i’d be less scared, women or men who enjoy facials, what is the appeal? from the receiving end and the giving end.

edit: i talked to a friend abt it and she said i just sound like i dont want to do it, but i do i think, how can i overcome this fear?

I know that a girl of mine likes it that way but i have no idea how to do it and obviously there’s no tutorial for it (right?)
Does someone have experience with this?

This is not rage bait 😭😭 I’ve noticed with multiple guys I’ve been with they slip out/there is minimal traction. I’m scared it’s part of why my love life isn’t panning out well like… I don’t think I’m loose??? but is there something I could do? if I ask they obviously all say it feels good but I have this inkling they are lying to me?

when I use a dildo i can tell my muscle contract, plus there is some like tightness but I just get so wet 😭😭 WHAT DO I DO 😭😭😭😭😭

My (45m) and my wife (35f) have a healthy sex life, meaning about once or twice a week, but I am bored. There is no flirting. No sexy pictures or videos. Hardly any foreplay. It's not just the sex, it's more the entire sexual relationship. I came from a different background, (swinging, threesomes), where she has always been very vanilla. The sex itself is good, she doesn't suck in bed or anything, but I sort of feel like that has a lot to do with me taking control. She will cum a handful of times usually.

I have tried introducing toys, role playing, making videos, sexy clothing, random kinks. I've asked for us to take turns coming uo with something new or different. Even a different location. I tried sending her sexy pictures but she doesn't care and doesn't want to send them back. I've tried 100s of positions just to keep myself interested....Im pretty much out of ideas. I just want to keep it exciting. Her response to everything I have tried is that she is "extremely satisfied and doesn't need anything else". I don't want to outright tell her I am bored. It's not a sex drive issue, as I don't feel like I need sex constantly, I just miss excitement.

I don't want to cheat on her, but I have considered something online. It's nearly impossible to find people though, so I've pretty much given up on that. In the past it has helped curb it though.

I feel bad even complaining when I see all the dead bedroom posts and such, but the constant need for excitement keeps me looking at other women and missing how things were in my past. If a woman even looks at me in public my heart jumps. Ive even dressed nice just to run to the store, in hopes of getting some attention. I crave that attention and excitment so much, and I don't know why or what to do about it.

My boyfriend (22m) and I (18f) have been together for almost a year now. During that time we have been sexually active he was my first body. We do have sex quite often and it is unprotected sex. Which isn’t the best idea but he likes the feeling better without a condom. He does pull out every time. He usually pulls out a bit before he is about to cum and will usually stroke it or have me give him a blow job it just depends on where he wants to cum. He has had a few close calls where he has pulled out and came right away. But so far he was been really good at pulling out. He just usually joke about coming inside of me but wouldn’t as he doesn’t want to have kids until we are much older and have a steady income. Today when we were having the first two rounds he pulled out as usual. But the third round he just didn’t stop until he came inside of me. I’m not sure why he did this. After he finished in me he did clean me as usual and got me dressed. He took me to get a plan b and food and did apologize. He said he wasn’t sure why he did it and he just couldn’t stop this time. After we ate he took me home and now I’ve just been thinking since then. I’m a very stressed person and i know that this is going to worry me and consume my thoughts until i know I’m not pregnant. I know all this could have been avoided if I was just firm about wearing a condom. Knowing that also makes me feel sick because I’m not sure why I have been so dum this whole relationship.

How do you handle pre-anal-sex hygiene? I have never had anal sex, but would really like to. I have no idea how to prep hygienically for something like that (outside of the obvious showering/cleanliness).

Do we douche? Is that even healthy? Just water? Q-tips? Help a girl out 🙏

I want casual hookups/fwb were oral is involved.

I’m pretty new so I don’t know what to write. Can I just write wanting 🐱eaten out?

It’s a little bit unhinge but I want that one the table. I don’t mind giving them one, and would love for them to be responsive

I know at this point it’s all luck and catching the right fish. But I want to at least use the right bait

I F(21) have been seeing a guy (M23) for the past few weeks. We have gotten along great and I started to really like him. We’ve been going on dates and talking for hours into the night. I know he’s starting to really fall for me, asking me how I feel about being his girlfriend, introducing me to friends, talking about future plans, etc.

A few days ago we had sex for the first time and it was great. The next day we had sex again and once again it was great, but at some point he slapped me across the face. It didn’t hurt or anything, but I got mad and slapped him back (lol).

I was really thrown off and after I brought it up and he said he was just kind of into that. I got a bit upset and said he should’ve asked and not done it out of the blue. He agreed and apologized that he got too into the moment and didn’t think about it. I just think it’s a bit disrespectful. I also don’t know if i’m into that. I asked him why he liked that and he said it’s a “dominance” thing. i understand people have this kink but I don’t like the idea of a man wanting to playfully hurt me. I’m wondering if this will bleed into other aspects of the relationship. Any advice? Is this too disrespectful or should i give him some grace and keep seeing him?

edit: besides the slap it was genuinely the best sex I have ever had. so i’m not sure if we are incompatible necessarily. it was more so the lack of asking.

Hi guys, i just really need some guy’s opinions, i have been with my girlfriend 4 years and we have sex around once a week, sometimes I can go for 5 minutes, but most of the time it’s 30 seconds.

Is there anyway i can stop this happening? it is so annoying to finish that quick

So my gf and I both 18 yrs wanna try sex, we’re both virgins, but here’s an issue we wanna try it in the car she drives which is her parents car and for sure ik that

1. It’ll be so uncomfortable
2. She’s a virgin so it’ll be hard to do it and
3. It’s her parents car having sex in the back seat of her parents car would be weird asf.
   So idk just wanted to ask if doing it in the car for a first time be okay and also would she be able to drive back.

Ps: we tried having sex before on a bed but she was right asf and it couldn’t fit.

I want to do something extra nice for my boyfriend and wake him up to a blowjob.

But at the same time what if he doesn’t like it or feels weird about it. He loves when I give him head usually… but I just think he might be surprised and I don’t want him to not react well or feel violated. I want it to be consensual. But I don’t know whether to ask him if I can do it because if he says yes, then it’ll take the excitement or surprise out of it because he will expect it.

What should I do?

I have started antidepressants. As some of you might be aware there are some problems that come with antidepressants. Mine is, well I won't want to say ED. I can stay hard. I just can't manage to cum. She can get off while we have sex. She seems mad at herself because she can't make me cum. If i was to use Viagra or Cialis. Would that make me cum. Also if not how can i console her?

I am deeply insecure about my vulva. I have an "outie", and even though I am really pale, it is not pink. Worst of all, I also have an enlarged clit (like extremely). I'm scared that if I get intimate with my boyfriend, he will be disgusted by my vulva or would feel less sexually attracted to me because of it. We've been together since 4 months now and the only thing from keeping me having sex with him is my insecurity. We're both virgins and I have told him about my insecurity already (I didn't tell him directly how my vulva looks, just that I'm extremely insecure about it), and he reassured me, I still feel anxious about it though. He also had a serious porn addiction, which is why I know his view of women is probably rather unrealistic. He told me, however, that he's seen many different vulvas. I'm so scared that he'll think mine is abnormal or disgusting and I want him to enjoy sex too, if he finds me disgusting her certainly cannot. How can I overcome this fear?