We don't have as much sex as we used to...
My (36F) husband (27M) and I have been together 2.5 years, married a little over 1.
When we first started dating he mentioned it had been a while for him. The first time we had sex he lasted maybe 20seconds. Once we got in the rhythm though, we had sex pretty much almost every night.
Slowly, he started initiating less and less. Now I'm lucky if I get it 1-2x a month.
A few months ago we were discussing our marriage and he said how lucky we both are because of how compatible we are and we have a great sex life. I said "do we?" And he asked if I disagreed and said he wants me to feel satisfied. I mentioned that we don't have sex as often anymore and he said he didn't know why. A different conversation, he mentioned he didn't want to have as much anymore because he "kind of got over it". He said he doesn't know why, but he doesn't really feel the urge as much anymore.
A couple of months ago I brought it up again and asked why we don't have as much sex and he said again "idk". Somehow in that conversation, he said something along the lines of he's not in the mood but when I initiate then he just gives in. So I asked "sooo... I'm practically forcing you to f me?" He said no that's not what he meant. And I felt horrible. Like I'm r***ing him ??!! He insisted that's not what he meant. He said he starts out not in the mood but once we get playing he gets turned on and then he's good to go... ?
I love giving head and have been told many times by my ex that I am really good at it. Yes my husband barely reacts and used to finish but now he doesn't and I get tired. He is smaller than my ex so I do have to do things differently and perhaps it's not enough for him? I am self conscious now and have anxiety about it anytime we start.
I don't know what to do. I feel unwanted, undesired, unloved. Do I suck in bed?
He will sometimes say things like "I'm going to f you good tonight" but then tonight comes and nothing happens.
I am a little depressed over this...