u/DisciplineUnhappy898

i feel like a idiot i have nothing to do in this life and i serve no purpose i don’t care if people miss me when i’m gone they don’t care now why should they care later they will forget about me in a month anyways my dad took my wee pen away and told me i’m not supposed to be using it because it leads to other stuff thats the only thing keeping me sane then he started making jokes about it for weeks after it happened i told him i do it because i feel alone and have no one to talk to and instead of helping he took away the one thing that was i feel hated and no one has remorse for me my siblings have done nothing but ruin my life and it shows i’m not just saying it to be rude my mom left me because she thought i wasn’t good enough and text me once every other month snd then ghost me again my sister says i ruin her life when in reality shes ruined mine if she just kept her fucking mouth shut and respected rules like a normal person i never would have had to move away from my friends my brother made it so all the cars we own are ruined he’s s a dick that only thinks about himself and if he didn’t run away we wouldn’t have to move and get this he has the audacity to say the lady he ran away with sucks even after i told him shes manipulating you don’t go with her my other brother made a kill list and got moved away to some boarding school while i’m stuck in the middle of it all and have no one to talk to and no way to express my feelings so i use drugs to escape i have puked 3 times from it already and some how i still think its better then any person and oh well theirs tons of people you can talk to about this stuff no theirs not theirs randoms on the internet that say that but i’m not talking to you i don’t know you half the people i could talk to would just judge me or make fun of me the other half is just gonna say go talk to a therapist but their just going to jack me up on meds that don’t work or send me to some hospital i don’t need what i need is for someone to notice i’m struggling and to help i’m stuck in this fucking house that i got moved to away from my friends with no one that i feel comfortable with at this school i cant fucking breath half the time and my chest feels like its gonna explode ain’t nobody is gonna care about me or this rant i’m making so thats why i think i should just kill myself and make everything easier i know i’m probably going to hell for it but any place is better then this one i hate this earth and more importantly my self