Methylphenidate causing depression and anxiety
I was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years ago and prescribed methylphenidate. I went through "titration", trying various doses and both short-release and extended release versions of the medication.
At first I felt the drug was insanely intense, I felt as if I was genuinely high as a kite all the time. After mentioning this to my psychiatrist, my dosage was reduced. This helped a little bit, but I started noticing a "compound" effect on my mental health - after about 3 days of taking the meds, the comedowns in the evenings became more or less just depressive episodes, I felt down and depressed and for the first time in my life, I also experienced suicidal thoughts.
I took a little break after this, then tried once more (switching to 4h pills instead of the previous 12h). Same thing happened. I immediately asked to be withdrawn from the practice and said I didn't want to try any more medications because the effects were so negative on me and I wasn't willing to "experiment on myself" anymore (this is how I phrased it to myself at the time). Since then, I have just tried to manage my life with copious amounts of caffeine and rigid systems that help me organise myself (various to-do list papers and whiteboards in strategic locations, keeping things in very specific places in the house/always in sight, habit stacking etc).
Now that multiple years of unmedicated life have passed, I am thinking about trying medication again. Ofc, not methylphenidate - never again. I feel kind of discouraged because I keep hearing from friends that methylphenidate really helps them and how they've turned their life around thanks to it. It makes me feel like there is something EVEN MORE wrong with me, or maybe I don't have ADHD at all (pretty much impossible, there's nothing else it would be lol). For context, my ADHD type is inattentive.
I'm curious to hear if anyone else had a similar reaction with methylphenidate and/or more success with another type of medication?