hey reddit, this is my first time posting here and honestly I'm here cause I don't wanna talk to my friends about this because I don't want this to somewhat influence their views on my boyfriend and I just don't really have someone to talk to about this irl.
So I [21F] and my boyfriend [22M] are in a fight rn. This started when I opened up to him that I was having doubts in our relationship, if is this really the kind of relationship I want. I felt this way because my boyfriend barely message me anymore, we haven't had a full conversation in a while,no more updates, and when he message me and I reply literally immediately it will still take hours for him to respond, I understand that he's not always gonna be able to reply to my messages immediately but what's happening now is there's just 1 in a million chance that he's gonna respond within a few minutes. There are times that I'm not gonna hear abt him at all until afternoon or evening, I just feel like he's so hard to reach especially on the days that I really need him.
We don't live together because we're still in uni so this is really hard for me and also why communication is very important to me. I already talked to him personally on Monday night, and his explanation was we aren't in a phase where we talk all day anymore, we have our own lives and the important thing is no matter what happens we're there for each other. He also said that he's just really busy because he's about to graduate. I told him that I completely understand and I am not asking him to talk to me all day or for his world to revolve around me, just like he said we have our own lives and I am not stopping him from living his life, but I just wanna feel included sometimes, I wanna feel remembered, I wanna feel loved.
Like I just wanna talk to my man, no matter how chaotic or busy my life gets at the end of the day he's the one that I want to talk to, talking to him helps me decompress, I wanna tell him how my day went. Or atleast he let's me know when he arrives to his apartment after he goes to the gym so I'll know he arrived home safe (his gym is kinda far from where he stays and he goes to the gym late at night so he sometimes comes home at midnight or worst 1am onwards + he uses public transportation) or literally just a simple goodnight. I just feel lonely sometimes and I feel emotionally neglected. I trust him and I know he wouldn't cheat on me but I can't really feel fully secure when I don't know where he is or what he does all day (not asking to know his every move, just want something to feel included in his day) When we're together it's all good, but when we're apart it just feels like he's not really there.
Sorry for the rant and how messy it is, I myself is kind of a mess rn too, but am I just being unreasonable? am I being immature? am I influenced by these so called "social media standards"? please tell me what I can do and how I can make him understand how I feel. This is really the only problem in our relationship and I really love this man and I really wanna make this relationship work.