Hi I am a 51 year old woman who strongly suspects she is autistic. I left my profession a year ago due to burn out, much of it social. I am currently studying to reenter the workforce, however, I feel very demoralised.
In my own space, studying, reading and writing I feel like a competent and likeable person, however, the minute I attempt to participate with other people I feel like someone who is socially incompetent and unlikeable. To make matters worse, I have noticed people responding more favourably to one and another, which leaves me feeling quite ashamed for once again not being able to win people over with socially affable gestures, communication etc.
I am studying nursing and keep wondering whether it will be a good fit for me. I know that I can relate to people on a therapeutic level, as I was a secondary school teacher for years and found that I was good at providing strong, student centred, therapeutic support. However, in the nursing classes there is no much emphasis on social aptitude and personality and I feel so flawed and incompetent in these environments.
Trying to participate socially leaves me feeling completely incapacitated and really it has always been this way.