help, I’m so insecure because every time I go out with people or speak to them, they give me this look like they’re inwardly mocking or making fun of me.
I’m old enough to realize it’s cause of neurodivergence but it’s so deflating being in a conversation with someone and then realize or see on their facial expression that the minute you get excited or invested in a conversation, they’re almost making fun of you in their head and only focusing on how others are experiencing the convo. They’re not in it with you.
I’ve had servers many times come over to my tables, somehow assuming that I’m attaching or angry with the person at the table. But it’ll just be a “deep convo” for me. It’s making me want to xxxx more and more. As a person, it’s exhausting cause you’re almost not allowed to be you without other people judging.
And oh I get “weird” almost everywhere. The worst is that other neurodivergent experience the same embarrassment cause they’re seeing the neurotypical reactions and crave acceptance too I guess?
What to do to mask better I guess. I just want friends at this point.