My son is 2.5 years old and at 2 years we had to transition him to a toddler bed from crib due to some creative and unsafe escape methods. Our relatively OK sleeper turned abruptly overnight. Frequently getting out of bed, laying at the door crying, talking about monsters in his room, falling asleep on the hardwood etc. We ended up bringing him into bed with us around 11pm-1am nightly when he would inevitably wake up in theatrics, often following a long and drawn out bedtime of us having to stay in his room 1 hour+ to get him asleep in his bed.
Well our queen sized bed was no longer accommodating myself (and my growing uterus), my pregnancy pillow (MVP), husband AND toddler. Sleep was miserable. I decided something had to change, and so I absolutely winged it.
We got him a new bed since the crib would need to be reclaimed soon anyway, talked his ear off for DAYS about the changes coming, read the same book nightly about getting a new bed etc. etc.
Bedtime routine stayed the same - bath every other night, nightlight on, three books of his choice, singing his bedtime songs, cuddles to his bedtime playlist and then into bed. When I put him into bed I told him I would lay beside him for five minutes. After five minutes I tell him I'm going to go lay in mommy and daddy's room, but that I'll come check on him in ten minutes unless he needs me before that. I keep my promise and I ALWAYS return when I say I will. After the ten minutes I'd go in, tell him I returned like I said I would & that I'm so proud of him for staying in bed, wish him goodnight, tell him I'm going downstairs but that I'll come back in twenty minutes unless he needs me sooner. Right from the get go he was asleep by the time I'd return the second time.
Did he protest? Sure. The first few times I told him what was going to happen he would start to cry and say "no mommy, sleep with me". +++ reassurance. +++ keeping my word. Sometimes a few cries when I'd leave the room, but staying in bed. It took less than a week and he started to catch onto the routine.
Now it's been two weeks and I keep the routine nearly the same. I lay with him for five minutes of cuddles, tell him I'm going to mommy/daddy's room and that I'll come check on him in (now) fifteen minutes, and he's always asleep by the time I come back.
Quality of life is massively improved. Bedtime stress is now near zero for everyone.
Looking forward to getting thrown into the sleep deprivation deep end with a newborn again in three weeks. But for now, I'll enjoy it.
Sharing in case anyone else is struggling with similar bedtime woes. Maybe this technique will work for you, or maybe it will just give you hope that things will get better. Sending love and sleepy vibes your way.