Why do I feel more alone when I'm with my friends?
I don't know where to start with this. I love my friends so much. I love my girls, they're my everything. But it hasn't felt the same after a falling out, which I don't want to get into.
I used to play games with the other two all the time, but I stopped playing as much because I don't have the same interests as them anymore. We met over DBD and honestly, I feel like it was the glue in our friendship. A stupid game. I hate it but I sometimes hop on because they make it worth it.
I was hesitant to introduce my other friend to the other two because I was, and still am terrified they'll become better friends than they are with me. They introduced her to DBD and now I see them playing with each other all the time.
I know I can join the vc with them any time. But I don't like joining in on things if I haven't been explicitly invited. They know this. I do get on when I want to but then I just feel like I'm intruding.
They all talk and joke the same. I want in but I never know what to say. I want to fit in with them but I don't know how to. I've become so different from them and it's isolating.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared to talk about it when them because I don't want to be seen as attention seeking, or want them to feel like walking on eggshells around me. I just wish I felt seen and heard and part of the group again.