25F | Am I wrong for rejecting an arranged marriage proposal because I felt no spark?
Hey, I'm 25F and I've been on matrimony apps for the past few months. I recently received an alliance. My family says he has a good job, comes from a good family, and they are happy to accept our family as well( we're a middle-class family, though I earn well—actually, even more than he does despite him being in his 30s).
The problem is, I don't feel any joy or excitement when I look at his profile. Even the thought of meeting him doesn't make me feel happy. According to my family's rules, if I agree to meet someone, I can't reject him afterward (if I do so I will be labelled as a different creature). Because of that, I completely rejected the match, trusting my instincts.
Now my mom is very worried (i can really understand her feelings). She keeps saying, "What if you keep rejecting every proposal?" My family also tells me that arranged marriage is always like this—you don't feel anything in the beginning, and you'll eventually like the person after marriage. I honestly don't find that logic convincing.
Lately, I've started hating myself for being this way. I feel guilty because none of the other girls in my family gave their parents this much stress during their arranged marriage process. Whenever I attend a family function, everyone surrounds me and starts giving advice. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just been like the other girls in my family who didn't make things so difficult for their parents.
I don't know... maybe I'm wrong. I genuinely don't know. But if I don't feel even a small spark or any excitement about a person, it just doesn't feel right for me to move forward. I just wanted to pour out everything that's been on my mind because I've been feeling really worried lately.