Question about emotional availability
I (44F) ended relationship with a great guy (51)
He was super attractive, we had great chemistry, similar interests and similar politics, and we always had a fantastic time together!
The issue was that after nearly nine months, it just didnt feel like it was going anywhere. We didnt get to see each much more than once a week, and he didnt make much of an effort to see me beyond that, nor did he seem interested in working towards a deeper connection.
I was genuinely shocked at how sad and surprised he was when i told him
I felt like we needed to end things.
In retrospect, i think i attribute a lot of our issues to his close relationship with his ex-wife.
Let me be clear, i have a great relationship with my ex-husband and his fiancee, and i want to be with someone that has a similar, respectful relationship with his ex.
BUT, it felt like there wasnt much room for me in his life. He celebrates holidays and birthdays with his ex and their teenage children, so there was no room to spend any of that with me. They would have dinners together and he would regularly spend time at her house.
I did not, and so not suspect their relationship was romantic. But it felt like their friendship filled a space in his life that maybe caused him to approach me with less vulnerability or emotional availability
Im curious if anyone else has run into this, and how they have handled it.
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