u/Dizzy_Ad_7271

Hi I hope Denver and Teresa see this! I am a long term listener, I pay for patreon and always look forward to your episodes every Tuesday, friday, and sunday! I love what you do and your podcast is my absolute favorite!

Now for the reason I am writing this.... I am 26 f and i have been seeing this guy whos also 26! Its only been a couple of weeks but sparks were flying like crazy! We matched on tinder originally and he invited me to a concert the next day after just a little bit of chatting. I was feeling pretty spontaneous which isnt normal for me at all so I decided what the heck and I went! We met at a brewery and sat and talked for a while before and hit it off so of course we went to the concert. The biggest thing I noticed was that it felt comfortable. He was asking me all kinds of questions about myself and I was asking him some too. We talked for hours, he paid for everything even when I offered he refused. It was a really good first date. He was a perfect gentleman and after we parted ways he texted me the 2nd he got home. Told me how much fun he had, how I looked good, and that we need to "do that again" I agreed and we spent the next like 5 or 6 days texting, staying up tell 4am at times talking about life. He has a busy busy work schedule and then I had plans on his day off so we really couldnt see each other tell finally I just invited him over to watch movies and talk more after i was hanging with my friends. We spent the whole night together and it was a great time. He was super sweet and kind and seemed to have a great time too because we even hung out the next night. We got food somewhere where there was live music, sat and talked for a while and then went on a long walk tell the sun was set and it was dark, it was nice. Then the next day he invited me over to use his parents hot tub with him. He was watching their house while they were out of town. I came and we spent another great evening together. We just talk for hours and hours about deep things and we laugh and listen to music and all that. It was a great night. All 3 nights were so good and it felt like we had a really good connection. And things were going great until monday this week. So we had plans again for tuesday after he got off work. We figured we can hang out at my place and stuff... well monday he texted me saying all this stuff about not having time or money to put effort into this and how he likes me so much which makes it harder for him but that he doesnt have the time or energy that I deserve. He said he isnt really ready to date anyone and that he still wants to see me but isnt sure where it will end up. Even said "I just wish we couldve met a year from now, I feel id have more of my crap together" which I understand. After hanging out I did figure out some things are like ya you dont have it figured out. But I was okay with it because I liked him i wanted to see where it went and I mean I dont exactly have my life figured out either. But he said all this monday and we decided we'd still hang out and it felt he was treating me the same. Like still trying to hang out. We hung out tuesday and he stayed tell the afternoon Wednesday. He left his wallet so I had to go take it to him on thursday he was working his side job with his dad and asked if i could bring it to him and he'll give me free food. He also even asked if i can grab a redbull for him "just use the money in my wallet". So like this feels so couply to me... and then when I got there he told me he'd be able to hang out for a little if i waited 10 to 15 mins so I decided to chill. I also met his dad while I was there. But ya he came and sat with me for a while and we talked a bit. I eventually went back home. Things were still good. But then we made plans for yesterday morning. We were gonna drive to the next state over to get some 420 type things since its not sold where I live. Its about an hour drive there and back. The biggest thing was he didnt touch me at all affectionately like the whole drive and even when he went to drop me back off I asked if he wanted to a hug goodbye and it felt weird. The nights we spent together (which by this point there were 3 evenings we spent cuddling up close and i know hes very affectionate in that way). So it just felt so weird and I cant tell if hes pulling away, playing with my feelings, using me for sexual reasons (cause we have been doing those things and its been extremely good😅). Or just not interested but doesnt know how to get rid of me? Idk I'm so confused tho and its affected me so negatively this week. I feel like theres been so many weird highs and lows and its only been 2 and a half weeks.. hes confusing me because he tells me how hes not ready for anything serious but then treated me the exact same way that feels super serious but then yesterday happened and idk what to think. Is he just trying to keep me around temporarily tell he does find someone he wants to be with? I'm so lost if im being honest... i dont usually like men. Like i get asked out on plenty of dates and usually theyre just meh so when I met a guy who made me feel so calm, comfortable, and relaxed who also is kind and has similar views as me in life and such I just felt so smitten. Now I fear my feelings are completely fading because of this lack of clarity. I just feel like even tho its been only 2 and a half weeks you should still know if you want it to go anywhere or not. You arent just confused right? Why did he even ask me to go to the concert with him in the first place if he doesn't have the time or money to spend on dating? Why does he keep continuing conversations and finding time to hang out still? Sorry this turned super long Im just so confused! Should I end things or could he really be just in a weird spot in life and needs time to figure it out? But also again why are you on dating apps then? 😅 I can answer any questions you may have i hope I put in enough details but theres way more I can say but its already too long lol