Sudden breakup after a perfect 6 months in a polyamorous dynamic. Could this be a severe PMDD/PMS episode?
Hello everyone, yo really need some outside perspective and experiences on a situation that has completely blindsided me.
I’ve been in a deeply loving, completely harmonious polyamorous relationship for the past 6 months. She is married with two teenage kids (16 and 18). Her husband and I get along great—he’s incredibly supportive, and I’m fully integrated into the family (even her parents love me). Two weeks ago she told me she was deeply in love with me, and we were even planning a big family vacation together for next year, including integrating my own daughter.
We just came back from a 5-day vacation together. During the trip, her mood shifted around Wednesday. She became distant and irritable, and even tried to "suggest" other women to me, which felt like her trying to deflect pressure. However, on our drive back home on Friday, she actively booked two shopping dates with me in her calendar for the coming weeks.
Two hours later, as I dropped her off at her house, she broke up with me in a chaotic, 1-minute conversation at the car. She said "this isn't working anymore" and suggested we should think about being just platonic. She then immediately ran inside and hugged/kissed her husband, while she hadn't given me a single kiss in two days. Her parents, who were also on the trip, are deeply disappointed in her behavior and told me she will bitterly regret this.
Here is the kicker: Her period was due around Thursday/Friday but was delayed, likely starting on Saturday. She has told me before that she suffers from bad PMS.
Looking at the extreme contradictions (planning a future with me 2 hours prior vs. a brutal 1-minute breakup right before her period arrived), my gut feeling tells me this was a severe PMDD/PMS emotional overload and a fight-or-flight panic reaction to returning to her family nest while hormonally crashing.
Has anyone in a polyamorous or open dynamic experienced a partner suddenly sabotaging a great relationship due to PMDD/PMS?
Does this sound like a hormonal short-circuit or a calculated, rational decision?
I am currently in strict No-Contact since Friday to give her space.
Any advice on how to navigate this?