u/Dogmama1219

My (27f) birthday was a couple months ago. Back in the beginning of the year I had planned for us to go on a trip for my bday. I was willing to cover majority of it. I just wanted to get out of town and make memories with the love of my life. When we would talk about it, it was clear he wasn’t interested in the trip. Didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to spend money. Mind you, this was a 3 day trip, a car drive away and something we easily could have done financially. Long story short I ended up cancelling it. Started to feel like him and I were in a weird place and I didn’t want to force anyone on a trip with me they didn’t want to be apart of. Mind you he asked if we could go celebrate his friends birthday in San Diego that next month (both of us paying $300 each). We didn’t do it. On my actual bday he didn’t do anything for me, no dinner, no present, no post (not a big deal but it is to him). I also told him previously I love feeling special on my bday. I do not need ANYTHING grand. I just want to be taken out to dinner tbh and maybe a little gift is nice? It can be thoughtful it doesn’t have to be anything crazy. I thought I wasn’t asking for much. Anyway, needless to say my feelings were very hurt on my birthday. Thankful for my family and his who all wanted to celebrate me and did something kind.

His 28m birthday is coming up and I have no desire to do anything. I just don’t care that much if he feels special or loved. Is that horrible? I’ll say happy birthday and do whatever he wants to do that day but I’m not planning anything, I am not buying him a gift and I will not make any special post. I’ll be honest, I’m doing this bc I was so freaking hurt on my bday and he is similar to me in a way where he wants to feel celebrated and I just couldn’t believe he put 0 effort into doing..anything….

I was hurt about this for a while and we had several conversations about it. He ended up apologizing but what happened already happened! AITAH?