u/DonaldDouchebag

Nordo, fade the music. Three, two, bass. Now, normally we'd open the show by forming a karmic convergence on nine-to-noon to grease the wheels of a noisy bad dream. But yours truly's scriptural blessing bona fides have been called into question by pusillanimous personages trying to get their Samari on by going clomp mode on the liturgical bit. (Crowd hating it!)

Messers of the non-theological mind ilk think they can take the vainglorious Vox (he is I and I is him, slim with the tilted brim) to ecclesiastical handling school for size? Vox has the predacious pastor Wes Feltner on speed dial (we text and talk more than people know) to offer palms to the sky for these micky frickin' clompers who couldn't make freaking Vomit Guy blush with their non-enterprising takes.

With all due respect, don't let the screen door hit you on your way out. (Copyright the Sanford Townsend band.)

Message board immortality tried to change the complexion of the conversation but found themselves in arears and more pear-shaped than my Puffy former-partner feasting on crank of Shank, ya say. (My, oh my, sho am diseased.)

The funky Vox vernacular is on hit legit and always was. BEEDEEEEEEET!

The lack of Dr. Pepper’s tiny presence hangs heavy over the proceedings. Will a new “expert” ever look as exhausted with the cast as she did?

I liked that the show looked like it cost about $250 per episode to create. Couples retreats in Decatur and Toledo were fine. Now we have Bravo-level funding? I’m not sure if I’m ready to see a honeymoon suite with an in-room jacuzzi and steam shower.

The biggest loss, for me, is the lack of the low-quality music. I just need to hear that sweet, familiar tune, “It’s all or nothing” to really settle in and watch this shitshow.

What changes do you hate?

There was a boomer guy in front of us in line at the grocery store standing at the end of the conveyor belt packing up his few items. This was one of those checkout lanes that had two belts so the cashier could divert items in two directions after scanning. Boomer was on the right while another person packed her items on the left.

My groceries went down the belt to the right and ended up near Boomer’s items that he should have already packed up. (Typical boomerism that he was taking forever.) Then Boomer said something about items being on the wrong belt to the cashier and I thought he must be kidding. Nope. Boomer proceeded to berate the poor cashier lady because some rogue groceries were near his items.

Some of his outbursts:

(Looking at groceries) “Why the hell are these here?”

(To the cashier) “Don’t you know what you’re doing?”

“What the hell kind of people do they hire here?”

“They let anybody work here, I guess.”

“They should close this goddamn store down, nobody knows what the hell they’re doing!”

“I’m never coming here again!”

Eventually I told him to get the hell out and, while his face looked like it was going to explode, he did leave after sputtering a bit. Poor cashier looked like her whole day was ruined. (My partner and I did reassure her that she did nothing wrong and the guy was a psycho.)

TLDR: boomer wants grocery store to close, and everyone to lose their jobs, because my groceries came near his items on the conveyor belt.