After Depression: How do I heal the damage?
Just turned 30. Full time worker and recently understood that much of my reality so far was tinted by depressions.
Depression and social anxiety caused me to seldom leave my room over the last 15 years. Whenever i skipped on events and instead lay in my bed watching Youtube, my brain built up immense self-pressure, loathing and stress.
Then came the additional pressure of work and now I am barely making each day. My brain is fried. My stress tolerance non existant. It feels like there is no more meat on the bone. As if im running on 5% when I wake up.
On the weekends, whenever i do "normal" and "pleasurable" activities with friends or try to meet new people, I takes energy away. I derive immense joy from it, but it exhausts me even more.
When I go to the gym to take care of my physical health, it feels good. But I come back utterly tired. It halves my energy levels for days.
Its becoming so bad, that people started to point it out. At work, when i meet friends. They tell me i look wasted. I carry immense brain fog and can barely contribute.
Mentally I am "healed" in a sense that i out-grew and understand my traumas. I give myself more room. Understand my patterns. But it seems the damage done is too great. Its devastating effect still linger.
So my questions is this, how do i repair the damage that was done after i beat my depression?