u/Dora0407

I am feeling down currently,i hate when people blames me for anything.Like whatever i do is wrong,when i laugh,i sound too manly,when i cry,people get annoyed,when i eat anything,they just say i have binge eating disorder,and when i dont,i have AN instead！Genuinely it‘s messing up my mind and i dont even know what is right or wrong,some people said to me ’You‘re really smart,brave,why are you so lazy？’ The reason they called me lazy is that i havent gone to school for motnhs （i am going to repeat a year）It sucks that they have high expectations,why do u think i am lazy？Or like there were some days i dont have the mood to shower,then they say i am depressed,why would you just diagnose me？Your not a doctor or a therapist.
What is so funny is that,i knew i was depressed a few years ago,and well？They knew and didnt help,i was suffering and i really wanted someone to talk to.Now i am a lot better now and they just think i am lazy or pretending,i feel like they dont see the efforts of me controlling my emotions and the urge to do something harmful.
I‘ll say it again,I HATE when it feels like everything i do is wrong,isnt laughing or crying an emotion？Arent you happy that i am not hiding myself？Why would u hate when i do that？Like i cry silently now,yet i still get scolded,it sucks,really.
I dont know if i am overthinking or being too self-centered/narcissist.But i just want to vent.Thank you