My ex-husband is happy in a new relationship while I’m bitter
My ex and I were married for 7 years. I was the one who asked for the divorce and separation. Now he’s happy while I’m bitter. But let me tell you the whole story.
I was head over heels for him. I was usually the one trying too much, trying too hard for attention and time. He didn’t protect me from his family. I had to support him financially for years. When I had a miscarriage and was bleeding on the toilet, he was with his friends smoking weed and came home late at night.
I found him sexting other girls. He left to work in another country, and I followed him. I was flying back and forth between him and my home country just so I could be near him.
At the end, he said that sex with me was boring after I told him that it hurt. He bragged to my neighbors about messaging other women in other countries.
I divorced him.
Don’t get me wrong there were some good parts of him. That’s why I still cling to him.
Now, after 1.5 years, he seems happy. I learned one week ago that he has actually been in a happy relationship for over a year. The girl is way prettier than me. He seems completely enamored with her. They talk nonstop about philosophy, psychology, astrology, and other deep, meaningful topics.
Everything I was interested in and longed to share with him, he seems to be sharing with her.
I was with him during his lows when he had no job, when he was depressed, and through everything else. Now he started his own business, seems happy, and is doing better.
It feels as if I sacrificed so much and still wasn’t enough to get this version of him.
I want him to be as bitter as I am.
Even when I divorced him, he seemed more scared of losing housing than losing me. He had a chance to fight for me, but he didn’t.
It’s so painful for me that I was never good enough. I guess she is.
But… Two months ago we met, and he was being all lovely-dovey with me. I think he was drunk, but so what? He was asking me for sex and I refused. He said that he would always have passion for me.
And now I learn that even then he had a girlfriend.
He tried to use me until the end.
It feels so unfair. So unbelievably unfair that I was just a resource.
Why was I not good enough.. why.