Time tracking household labor
In the early stages of separation, initiated by me after one too many fights that end with my wife unwilling to accept that she has any part in our marriage problems.
Apparently my wife has been frustrated for years with how little I do around the house. That's fascinating, because I recall a year before we separated she expressed that same frustration so we agreed to log our chore time for a month with a time tracker app on our phones. Turned out I was doing about 25 hours a week on chores, she was doing 4. She got furious and demanded we log each other's time and say when we are starting stopping (a truly hellish month). Then I averaged 27 hours and she averaged 5. We both work full time (or did til she got fired) and have a kid. She genuinely thought she was shouldering all the chores "except for cooking," which if you're the only one doing in a family... adds up quick. Meal prep, cooking and kitchen clean up was about 12-15 hours a week itself.
It's an exercise I would recommend to anyone growing resentful of a unequal distribution of labor. It didn't help our marriage in the end but at least that argument got more muted for a few months.
I have dropped the ball plenty of times in our relationship but I genuinely don't know what she's thinking. She just told me this week she's extremely frustrated that I left a bunch of unfinished projects at the house when I moved out.
Girl they're YOUR projects, I told you at the time I didn't want them and you fucked off to home depot anyway! What straight man in his 40s gives a shit about repainting the interior walls for the third time in under ten years?!