Tired of days wasted.. Accountability partner?
26 y/o dude here. Struggled on and off since I was 13. However, since Covid built bad habits that progressed until I graduated college and kept getting worse. I’m a very self reflective and honest person. I’ve always been the hardest one on myself. I keep trying to let go and surrender to God, but I find myself reliving the same vicious days, over and over again.
I have a very difficult time, as many do, accepting Gods grace and forgiveness.
I know I’ll be a hypocrite and fall back to sin, which Paul writes many times in the New Testament literally kills.
I can’t forgive myself because I’ve told myself a million times this time is different & I’ll change…
Is anyone else at the point they know all the whys, all the triggers, the remedies for help, but still can’t get over the hump?
I struggle to put myself out there to connect with others, which is what I know I need, yet I’m constantly relapsing and hitting rock bottom telling myself the classic “this is the last time, you’re pathetic, you never do what you say you’re gonna do etc”
When I spend time with family, work up the courage to go to Church or young adult Christian groups, I feel my heart soften and a peace that feels foreign to me. But then I go back to living alone, stuck in my house & repeating the cycle.
All that to say, I could use a like minded person to speak/listen honestly and freely about holding eachother accountable and how to take positive steps forward.
I know deep down it all stems from loneliness. My longest streaks are always when I’m around friends or family. When I’m home, alone, it feels inevitable I’ll slip up once, which turns to twice & then the shame has me right back on the carousel.
I played sports my whole life, soccer in college, but now with injuries and concussions I’ve been a lazy bastard the last few years.
I gotta get back in the gym consistently & start coaching or joining rec leagues.
If anyone can relate & would like an ear, I like to listen nonjudgmentally and help if I can. I would also really appreciate someone to hold me accountable & help me stick to my word.
Life’s too short to keep struggling alone, feel free to hit my line and we can start moving forward together