Can anyone feel their turning point?
Hai, I'm 24 F.
I drink occasionally in the sense that if I go to a friend's house today we'll drink a bottle together. But I won't drink for like 1 week and let's say my boyfriend says if we could drink together. I'll say "ok" and we'll buy wine. But a bottle for him, and a bottle of me. Not one to share.
I thought spreading the days out would help me not become addicted.
But yesterday I drank 1 and 1/2 of a bottle of liquor. I didn't get a headache after sobering up. I actually made dinner, and drank water afterwards like normal. And I actually bought 2 bottles of wine while drunk apparently. I think I knew it was for another time. And I wasted money I didn't have. Which made me feel guilty.
But while I was laying in bed. I felt like I was feeling my turning point if that makes sense? My body felt anxious, I felt nervous knowing there was alcohol like wine still here.
It was this weird sensation my body was giving me like it was a threat. So after the feeling got so intense.
I grabbed those 2 bottles of wine, and opened them. I poured both down my sink.
I felt relieved afterwards. Like I was safe. I also had thoughts like "You're overreacting. You could've just waited 30 days or a month and still drank the wine. You didn't have to dump it." Knowing in my gut damn well I would've drank it next week randomly on a Thursday. Currently I feel like everything isn't slightly real. But I know it's just the depressant feeling from the alcohol, and I tell myself I should feel safe. That I am safe.
I've decided I'm taking a LOOONNNGG break. I've even texted my friends letting them know I will no longer be drinking for quite a while.
I had no one to tell this to, and I wonder if I saved myself or I was really just anxiously overthinking it.
But I realize my flaws, and I'm gonna fix them.
I just wanted to ask. If feeling the turning point like I did happened to anyone else? Did it feel the same?