u/Double-Bandicoot1474

I've been a waitress for seven years. It was the first job I got after moving out, and somehow I never managed to get out of the industry.

My job is pretty demanding when it comes to dealing with customers, thinking on my feet, staying focused, and remembering things... so you can probably imagine that sometimes it's an absolute nightmare for me.

When I was younger, I could cope with it, but it got harder every year, and I've finally decided to go back to school so I can move into a different field.

CPTSD affects every aspect of my life, but work has always been one of the toughest ones. What do you all do for a living, and how do you manage it?

This is something that honestly makes me feel really ashamed, but I talked about it with my brother today and realized the exact same thing happened to both of us.

There were basically no hygiene routines in our house growing up. Sometimes the house would go months without being cleaned because my mother struggled with severe depressive episodes and often couldn’t get out of bed. My grandparents’ house was exactly the same.

At one point, I had lice for over ten months because my mother would only treat it whenever she remembered, felt like it, or wasn’t completely shut down in her own world.

Also, constant urinary infections because I never had clean underwear, cavities from never brushing my teeth… things like that.

Now I’m an adult who basically had to re-teach myself how to shower regularly, brush my teeth, cut my nails, wash my clothes… all of that.

I honestly learned most of these habits only after moving out and living with other people.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

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I’ve been her stepmom since she was five years old.

My partner and his ex-wife didn’t work out as a couple, but they’re genuinely great parents… and honestly, watching this little girl grow up with healthy, loving parenting right in front of me, completely changed the way I see my own childhood.

I’ve seen them set boundaries without yelling at her or making her feel guilty.

I’ve seen them patiently wait while she tries to explain herself instead of interrupting or dismissing her.

When something hurts her or makes her uncomfortable, she asks for help without fear, because nobody’s going to call her dramatic, tell her she’s lying, or act like she’s a burden for having feelings.

Nobody ignores her all day and then tries to “make up for it” with candy or gifts.

She has clean clothes, normal routines, she brushes her teeth, takes showers, and the adults around her actually pay attention to her health and wellbeing.

And being around her has been… healing, in a way I didn’t expect.

Because through loving her, I’ve slowly been learning how children are supposed to be treated. The kind of patience, safety, and care I wish I’d had growing up myself.

I feel lucky every single day to have her in my life.

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It sounds kinda weird, but it happens to me a lot that I completely forget really painful experiences.

Just today, I was talking with my partner and something in the conversation reminded me of an incident I had while traveling in Italy, where a man tried to rob me and grab my chest. Compared to other traumas in my life, that one didn’t feel as horrible to me, but while I was telling him about it, he looked absolutely horrified and asked me why I had never told him before. And I just went quiet thinking about it… then realized that until that moment, I had barely even remembered the incident myself.

It’s not the first time this has happened to me, and what worries me is when I forget worse things, because when I suddenly remember them, my whole body reacts really strongly, like I’m reliving it all over again.

Is it normal to forget really traumatic events like they were nothing?