My husband (28M) and I (32M) have been together for over 5 years but have been married a year and a half. Our relationship has been pretty marvelous with only minor hiccups along the way. Back in March, my husband went to do grocery shopping but figured he would get some Pokémon hunting in at a park. This was normal as he’s done it previously. However, this situation felt different. He was at the park and would take 30+ minutes to respond which is weird for him. He texted me stating that he went for a walk but left his phone in the car to charge. That was a little off but didn’t think much of it. He was at this park for about two hours. Towards the end, he would normally let me know that he was heading to the store from the park. Just typical, “hey, heading that way.” Well after another 20 minutes goes by, I call him and he told me that he got caught up with talking to someone that parked right next to him and randomly started talking to him about Pokémon? It sounded weird and random, people don’t choose to park right next to you and spark up a conversation about Pokémon go when there’s 50+ parking spots not used up. Well to sum up that, when he got home we talked and it just felt off. The answers, the tone, the whole ordeal. After he told me he was on Pokémon go for the whole time mostly, I checked his screen time a couple of hours later for Pokémon go. (Not the best of me, but I knew I was being lied to) He had been on the app for less than 5 min but on Google Chrome for an extended period (1 hr and 50 min) of time during his park adventure. This was also with no browser history so either deleted or incognito was used. I questioned him about it and he swore up and down that it was Pokémon go and didn’t argue past that. His repeated response was “I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t have the answers for that.”
Well the next day, it was just swimming in my head. I looked up the park name and searched it with “gay park meet up, with the park name” and then sniffies came up. I had never heard of this website nor knew what it was. I checked it out to investigate but would hop off immediately after our area was clear. I put it on the back burner of my mind.
Two weeks after that, my husband acts suspicious in the morning and is hiding his phone when I come into the other room where he is at. Full on, turning off the screen and moving his arm to push the phone away. I was already on high alert from the previous adventure and idk what made me think of sniffies. But what do you know, I go in, check anonymously and sureeeee enough, there’s an anonymous profile right above the area for our apartment. We live in a town home and it takes up a large area, so there was no confusing where that was.
Fast forward to a couple of days, we get into sensitive talks and it’s discovered after several conversations and coverups that he has been watching porn in the other room while I sleep before work. I wasn’t upset about the act itself, I was mainly bothered that he hid it, lied multiple times to my face about his actions only to tell me how incredibly sorry he was. We talked, we got a lot of the wrinkles out and all seemed fine and quite nice.
Two days ago: We always take our bedding to a laundromat that is 35 minutes away through the city because of how hygienic they keep their giant washers and place. I have to work (WFH) but he is off that day. So he offers to take it all and go. Super cool and considerate to that on his day off. While he is there, he is acting strange again over text. Like saying he is looking up tilapia recipes for over an hour. Nah. This guy is addicted to TikTok and will not miss an opportunity to send daily videos. I check, no Tiktoks had been sent, and he hadn’t been on instagram all day. I check his location and he’s in a different area of the parking lot than where the parking lot is. Weird. Before I can ask, he texts me and says he was giving people more room to get in and out of there. (Not like him at all). I get the weird gut feeling that something is off and to check sniffies. I check, there’s a profile there and EXACTLY where his car is parked. I get the hunch to download a shirtless pic off of google and move my anonymous profile closer to his. Within 5 minutes of coming back to the app, I get a message “hey” from the profile. I respond with hey and ask if they are looking for some head and send the fake pic. The profile responds yes, and sends a 3 year old shirtless picture of my husband. Mind you, this is his last shirtless picture that he took of himself and was sent to me back when we were doing Snapchat. I immediately start panicking but try to keep my cool. I try to fish for matching details to confirm it’s him (just in case someone would have this picture, even though I know no one does). I ask where he was, he gives “in front of ‘said laundromat.’” I played it off that I was down to meet and would head that way, I asked what type of car he was in and of course, gave the detail, “grey ford edge.”
I have the screenshots of the conversation and felt like this was the smoking gun. After heated arguments, he remains set that it wasn’t him and had to be someone else that 1. Has that picture 2. Was in the exact location as him 3. In the same type of car that we own. — This was yesterday and today I tried pleading with him that it would be okay if something happened. That we could work through it as long as there was honesty and respect. I was met with, “I can’t give you the answer you want.” I am just dumbfounded and stuck, any thoughts or suggestions would be most appreciated.