I’m in college now, but finals season brings me back to how I felt in high school. I used to have horrible anxiety around school and tests. I’d wake up feeling sick, nauseous, and unable to focus, and I didn’t realize at the time it was anxiety.
Now during finals, I feel that same freeze response. I want to study, but my brain feels scattered and I can’t focus.
What makes it more complicated is that I went through a period of really bad depression in the past. Because I was so sad for so long, part of me feels like I “deserve” happiness now, so when opportunities come up to relax, go out, avoid stress, or choose comfort over responsibility, I take them. Then later I feel guilty and overwhelmed when work piles up.
It’s like I’m stuck between wanting peace after surviving hard times, and needing discipline to build a future.
Has anyone else dealt with this mix of anxiety, burnout, avoidance, and guilt? How do you stop freezing and actually function during finals?