I need help
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year now. Literally within a month of our relationship, I got pregnant. At the start he was perfect everything I thought I wanted and dreamed of. But then the problems started.
The first thing I caught him doing was looking at OnlyFans girls. I forgave him, but then it happened three more times. The last time I found out was when I was around 9 months pregnant.
He also has really bad anger issues, especially when he plays games. He says he “can’t control it,” but I know he can because he would never act like that in front of other people or his friends. It scares me because he won’t even stop for the baby. My son is 4 months old now.
I honestly wish I left the first time. I love my baby more than anything in this world, but I regret who his dad is so much. He’s disrespectful to everybody and everything. He thinks he’s always right and struggles badly with accountability.
I can’t even try to have normal conversations about our relationship without him throwing a tantrum or punching holes in walls. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before he becomes physically violent towards me. He’s already verbally abusive towards me and even towards the baby. He swears around him constantly and says he doesn’t care what other people think because “it’s his baby.”
He constantly puts me down and disguises it as jokes. I know deep down I need to leave, but I’m terrified to do this alone. There’s still a small part of me hoping he’ll change, but realistically I know he probably won’t.
We’re both only 18. I’m not posting this looking for criticism. I just really want advice from people who’ve been in similar situations or managed to leave relationships like this.