Being disabled AND a glass child
I’m an adult who has to live with my parents because of my disability. Sucks already. But now add my non speaking level 3 autistic sibling to this and it’s another mess. It’s meltdown after meltdown constant worry about what they eat or their routine and I can’t get a moment to myself. I’ve been my sibling’s third parent my whole life (we’re twins, that makes things worse) so no one ever cared about ME. It’s always “well your sibling has it worse so shut the fuck up and let me be rude to you”
So here I am. Miserable in my mid 20s because of something that isn’t even my fault. If my parents die then my sibling is going to a home. I don’t even care anymore. But that’s gonna be way too long. As I type this my sibling is currently having a meltdown while I’m locked in my room avoiding being yelled at for “not taking care of my sibling.”
Never got to bring friends home, never got to MAKE friends because on top of my home life being shitty I was always bullied, and now I’m basically friendless as an adult since I became physically disabled. I always had an intellectual disability and was bullied for that by my parents. They thought I was “dumb” or “stupid” or would use the r slur with me.
I’ve joined some support groups to try and help with my disability but I’m too scared to bring up being a glass child. I’m involved with disability activism and I know how many people disregard us glass children because “how do you think THEY feel?”
I’m getting a college degree and I’m almost done with it but I’m really not sure where to go after because I HATE my degree. I’m only finishing it because it’s almost done.
If my fate is having to take care of my sibling that I’ve had to parent my whole life then consider me GONE. This has been my entire life and I had so many big plans for it until the worst of my disability hit. Now I’m just seen as dramatic or attention seeking while my sibling gets worse and worse daily. My parents refuse to get help (Bible thumpers who think PRAYER is gonna help, they did this throughout our childhood and even now) by sending them to a home or anything like that. They’re getting old and refuse to acknowledge it.
And PLEASE don’t try to say “convince them to do so!! Just have a talk with them!” Just being in their presence is emotionally and physically draining and NOTHING. I mean NOTHING will get through to them.
I want life to get better for me but I don’t think it’ll happen