AITAH for wanting to break up with the "love of my life"
My Girlfriend (F24) and I (NB23) have been through a lot. She and her Family saved me when I was thrown out of my home when I was 18 and had no where to go. For the last 5 years we have barely been apart. We love each other very much. We also like each other. I could imagine growing old with her.
First big thing is that I suffer from depression and I am at this point also in a personal crisis. I have had a lot of therapy and am going to a clinic next week for a longer time. Still it is a burden on the relationship. Especially because she is overworking herself and close to a burnout, but she is determined to get ahead in the workplace. It was difficult for me to support her emotions beforehand, but I did my best and we were happy. But at this time it is almost impossible for me to meet her needs.
2nd we have a bit of a difficult dynamic: She the oldest sibling and had to always care for her younger brothers. I have difficulty trusting my judgement, so I need validation and sometimes some guidance on what to think. We both kinda fall into a habit of me asking for her permission. It definetly fullfiles some mommy issues I have. BUT we both are working on seeing when it happens and then changing this pattern.
- Were both bi/pan and its been kind of an unspoken lavender (open) relationship. For the past year I have been trying to make it official and get some rules down. But so far she does not like the idea of this being more long term and not just impulsive flings. When we got together I was just a bi man but I have taken the big step and come out as Non-Binary. She has been very supportive. Now Im also trying out more feminin clothes, trying drag makeup and I love it. She is concerned that it is all going to fast and was against me getting my first wig.
4th is s*x. Its been difficult. She has a low * drive. She had bad experiences in the past. For the first two years I thought I was doing smth wrong. After I wanted to break up with her she confessed and told me about her issues. Its been very little action for me in these 5 years. My dream would probably be to be in a relationship with a femboy like me, take turns haha.
I think I need an outside opinion. Everyone around me is saying break up. But I dont really trust anyone around me. I didnt want to make any decision before my stay at the clinic. Also she warned me I will never find anyone who would stay with me and Im lokey scared.
All the best from Germany