100 day slump?
I am nearing the 100 days sober. My addiction was/is speed + stimfapping in a binge cycle for up to 10 years.
I lapsed/relapsed like every 2 months at the latest for 48 hours, then picked up the pieces and tried again. This was the cycle from October 2023 - March 2026. In Sept/October 2023, I used daily for like 6 weeks. Before that, I mostly used in the crash/binge cycle.
This is the longest I have been sober so far. The first 1-2 months are usually pretty easy.
To be honest, I had my peak cravings around the 50/60 day mark, where I usually relapsed. It has gotten significantly better since then. I no longer get "horny from thinking about drugs" and masturbate a lot less thinking about them. Also I do NA and CBT.
However: around that 60 day mark where the cravings died down, I just have gotten so tired all the time. I sleep 8 hours a night, I crash every friday evening and get out of bed on saturday at noon 1PM the earliest, sometimes at 3 PM. My mood is generally stable, my depressive thoughts from last year are mostly gone, I do excercise, I like living, but I am just so tired every day.
At work, I give 100%. It's fun. But I do not have the same zest for summer 26 than I had earlier. There is not much room for living after work, because I am just... Tired, or lets say, sleepy, in a sense.
This is really different than the "usual" 2 months I have been sober for repeatedly in the past years. It feels like recovery has gotten different after 60 days. Given the fact that I haven't been sober this long for like 10 years, it's just new to me.
I don't even drink caffeine. If I do, all I get is a headache. Caffeine is not a solution to this, overall, it would just end in another addiction, so I avoid it.
Can anybody relate? As I haven't consumed daily since fall 23, I just wonder if my binge-cycle can even lead to PAWS like this, or if something else is "wrong".