30F, stopped attending meetings about 6-8 months ago. Decided to fade so I could still talk to family and close friends, which also means I'm letting those people know about my decision. Largely out of respect for them so they can make an informed decision on if they want to keep communication or not, but also so they stop asking me about witness stuff.
In the process of letting people know, not just that I'm no longer a witness, but also that I'm actively attending church, I've noticed the reaction from men has been different than I expected.
TL;DR: They want to sleep with me. Added NSFW tag just so you know it's about sex, not graphic tho.
I decided to take a solo trip to Tulum for my first bday celebration. I posted on my IG story just saying I was excited to have booked it. I came back to a bunch of DMs from witness guys saying they wanted to come with me, how much "fun" we'd have together, and how it could just be our secret. Their view of worldly girls is skewed from being told they're all promiscuous. They assume I'm just open to it now, but they still want to maintain their reputation. Sleeping with me looks "safe" because I'm not going to report anything since I don't want to be DF'd myself and they can still get what they want and keep their privileges.
A couple days ago, I told a close male friend that I grew up with that I was inactive. Shortly into the conversation, he said "so you'll be out here drinking, smoking and having sex woww." I told him I wouldn't be and I'm still living the same way, I just think witnesses misinterpret scripture. The conversation quickly progressed to him sending me a pic of someone we both knew giving him oral (unprovoked btw! I couldn't remember what she looked like so he sent me that) He only wanted to talk about sex, even when I changed the topic. He talked about how tempted he would be with me if he came to visit (mind you, he's married with children), how big he is, how he needs it every day, then went through a LONG list of the witness women he'd slept with. None of them reproved or DF'd. He even mentioned MY OWN BROTHER who, apparently, everyone knew was with a woman who's known for sleeping around. I knew they were dating which I thought was weird bc she's 8 years older with 4 kids, but fine. Again, NO DISCIPLINARY ACTION. It's just something known that everyone goes along with because it's "not their business."
On top of that, I WAS REPROVED for letting a man sleep at my house! They said they couldn't prove we didn't have sex so they had to reprove me. How'd they find out you may ask? MY BROTHER REPORTED ME. Went through my phone while I was sleep to look for evidence that I was having sex with my then bf ( I wasn't) who lived out of state. He came to visit, I let him sleep downstairs so he didn't have to pay for a hotel.
These men were ministerial servants, elders, married, some 50+, not the parttime witnesses everyone wants to point their finger at.
This probably won't shock a lot of you, but I was a super sheltered witness, even as an adult. My mother was a helicopter parent with me more than my brother, so I couldn't do anything or go anywhere. I've always had this view of witnesses that they're so much holier and the only ones truly living by bible standards. Especially now that I'm going to church, everyone has been telling me how church goers just act holy on Sundays then go live however they want during the week. It turns out, everyone around me was doing the exact same thing.